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Kurt S. · **01-21-2016, 05:37 AM**

And they have to sell something (Uhhh vaccum cleaner?)Â

Door to door.Â

What would their sales pitch be? How would they market their product? How would they try to get customers to buy their stuff?

Nebbs · **01-21-2016, 06:22 AM**

Just RP with Nebula to find out.. Â no spoiler here Smile

Kurt S. · **01-21-2016, 06:29 AM**

That would have been nice if my schedule didn't shove me into the graveyard shift of all the rp.Â

EST mornings. XD

EDIT: Anyway to start off I guess...

Kurt.

'Well you know. You ARE getting this vacuum cleaner at a bargain. And you don't even need to step out of your house. Come to think of it, sir or ma'am, if you have a part of your house that needs cleaning I would be happy to demonstrate just how powerful this one is compared to all your other household items. Isn't it time you let yourself have that one quality of life upgrade?'

He'd be hands-on, 'I'll show you this thing works and it works like a charm' even if it makes him look like a home invader. And probably easily taken advantage of in his gusto to make a sale (that might never happen)

Solenne · **01-21-2016, 06:38 AM**

This is an awesome prompt! (And yes, do RP with Nebula. She's lovely!)

Solenne: "It's reallyÂ dangerous! No safety features at all. How can you resist?"

Michaux: [some obscure reference to Gelmorran cleaning practices goes here]

Leonie: "Just take the fucking thing, okay?"

Tatsu: "It's quite useful and cleans well, I think. And it comes in five beautiful colors!"

J'aeda: "This device is bulky and noisy. I would not recommend it. I will teach you how to make a broom from willow wands instead."

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Aaron · **01-21-2016, 08:35 AM**

"Buy it and I'll leave you alone."

Telluride · **01-21-2016, 10:52 AM**

Who ELSE would you hire to write your sales jingles?

Vokcas · **01-21-2016, 11:14 AM**

*Throw sawdust over a rug* "You need to clean that up. How can you do that without cleaning device... Just as it happens I have one for sale"

Warren Castille · **01-21-2016, 11:34 AM**

"Siddown, Castille." The pudgy hyur with the odd suspenders and balding head moved his stogie from side of his mouth to the other.

"Yes, sir." The highlander sat and drew himself up, aware of what was about to transpire.

"How many of 'dem aetheric dust absorbers didja sell this month?"

"None, sir."

"NONE! AGAIN! Dammit Castille, that's the third month in a row you ain't sold a damned one! Mind 'splainin' to me one more time how's that keep happenin'?"

"Well, sir, walking from door to door is obtrusive. Folks're cautious in Ul'dah when someone tries to offer them a sale without them seeking it out, and I don't think-"

"THINK?! I ain't payin' you to think! In fact, I ain't payin' you no more! Getcher ass outta here, you're fired!"

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **01-21-2016, 11:40 AM**

"Well you see, it was actually a relic of the Allagan Empire reengineered and repurposed at the Ironworks in order to clean your home! I suppose for dust and other dry items, it would do an excellent job, but sadly, it does not handle liquids well. Keep out of reach from sylphs and small children and it can be yours for five easy payments of 200 gil."

GloryRhodes · **01-21-2016, 12:32 PM**

Just gonna... Â Leave this here...

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=12956

Roe Dad · **01-21-2016, 09:13 PM**

*bought her own supply and wandered off eating cake*

Alderique · **01-21-2016, 09:16 PM**

No pitch necessary.

[Image: JiQtrBy.jpg]

But really, something along the lines of:

"Oh, a pleasure to meet you. Lovely home, you have hereâ€”I really do like Goblet houses, they have a certain charm. But you know, that desert sand is just everywhere. The storms kick in, people track it in, yeah? FORTUNATELY, I represent a merchant who makes a handy tool to help with that."

AekiraSwyfte · **01-21-2016, 09:49 PM**

"Swyfte..." asked the haggard, older lalafell, as he took a seat at his desk. "What's this I hear about you assaulting a customer this morning?" His eyes were focused on the lanky, aloof fellow before him.

"Business was slow," the Hyur at the desk's other end replied. "I was frustrated. Besides, he was obnoxious."

"...So you punched him in the jaw?"

"Yeah."

"Repeatedly?"

"Mmhmm."

"And proceeded to kick him in the ribs while yelling (and I quote) "Buy the fucking vacuum and suck your ass with it," while reportedly grinning like a madman?"

The hyur gave a sigh. "Really... REALLY obnoxious," Aekira replied. "He thought I was a prostitute. Must be the shoes."

"SWYFTE," the lalafell scolded. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but we CAN and PROBABLY WILL be sued dry for this!"Â

"He BOUGHT the vacuum," argued Aekira.

"AND A RESTRAINING ORDER!"

There was a moment of silence between the pair, time the smallfolk manager used to press his fingers firmly to his temples, not so eagerly awaiting his soon-to-be former employees likely sarcastic retort.

"Well," Aekira eventually said, offering up a wolfish grin. "At least I served him with a smile."

((Needless to say, Aekira in retail... bad idea.))

g0ne · **01-25-2016, 09:25 AM**

(01-21-2016, 06:29 AM)Kurt S. Wrote: That would have been nice if my schedule didn't shove me into the graveyard shift of all the rp.Â

EST mornings. XD

EDIT: Anyway to start off I guess...

Kurt.

'Well you know. You ARE getting this vacuum cleaner at a bargain. And you don't even need to step out of your house. Come to think of it, sir or ma'am, if you have a part of your house that needs cleaning I would be happy to demonstrate just how powerful this one is compared to all your other household items. Isn't it time you let yourself have that one quality of life upgrade?'

He'd be hands-on, 'I'll show you this thing works and it works like a charm' even if it makes him look like a home invader. And probably easily taken advantage of in his gusto to make a sale (that might never happen)

((Never ask Eleni to sell something for you. She might ruin it. By mistake or on purpose.))

Situation 1

The Seeker pouted as Kurt continued to explain to the lady how the vacuum worked. He was working away with a charm, advertising the product with skill that she had seen at vendors and proper markets. When all the hard work and flowery speech was done, the Hyur puffed his chest as he patted his back mentally at a job well done.Â

And that was when Eleni spoke: "Yeah, but aren't we going to tell her that it will break down in two days and we'll then tell her it was her fault and she won't get a refund?"

"...oh? We weren't supposed to advertise that?"

Situation 2

"I'm serious. Buy it. Now. If you don't I'll put an arrow in your head."

Outcome

You really don't want her to advertise your stuff. ^ ^ ;

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