(09-03-2015, 10:58 AM)Sylentmana Wrote: So I'm looking to re-purpose an older character I didn't do much with into a new character concept and I'd like to get some opinions from others. I want to make sure she's not breaking any lore and get a feel for what people think. The idea is still pretty rough and I haven't developed some of the finer details.
So the idea is she's a Hyur Midlander and a Doman refugee named Akiyama no Ryoko. In Doma, she was this world's equivalent of a miko (shrine maiden) alongside her sister and she comes from a long line of priests and priestesses.
During the razing of Doma, the Garleans destroyed her shrine and murdered her family. Ryoko only survived because her sister, who was essentially a powerful conjurer, cast a protective spell over her at the last minute.
- The shrine maiden concept is refreshing and probably consistent with Doman lore. Â Good call.Â
Class/job wise she is an archer/bard, though she also has some skill with polearms and unarmed combat. She has the natural ability to infuse her weapons and arrows with, what she believes is sacred spiritual power (its aetheric in nature). This is used to explain the flashiness of many of the class's abilities.
- "The Garleans destroyed EVERYTHING" is somewhat over-played. Â I'm guilty of this plot angle myself, as are many other RP'ers. Â You might want to consider different antagonists for the sake of originality or spice it up with a few fun facts. Â Perhaps a rival priesthood sect forced her family out? Â Also consider dropping the "LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR" angle too, as it is overdone. Â
For the more basic abilities, she does this naturally through force of will, but for the more advanced and flashier abilities, she uses a combination of her family's sacred incantations and poetry (haiku's mostly since those are shorter, easier to write, and more suited to combat) to infuse the weapon/arrows with power.
- Combat appears fine. Â Flashy but fine. Â However, where would she have learned proficiency with multiple types of weapons if she was a shrine maiden? Â Try to explain this.Â
Since her arrival in Eorzea, a new friend gifted her with a minstrel's harp which she has been learning to play and has been adding music to the mix of her incantations and poetry. Personality wise, she rather even keeled and quiet, preferring to listen more than speak in group settings. She naturally has a deep and profound hatred of Garleans and any who willing serve them.
- Magical haikus are really cool. Â Make sure to keep that.Â
This is what I've got so far. I welcome any constructive comments and criticism as well as questions (they help me to further flesh out my character by forcing me to think about details I had not considered). Thank you for your time.
- Throw the poor Garleans a bone.Â
Take my subjective criticism with a grain of salt. Â I like the overall concept. Â So please see comments above in red.
