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Dear Phoenix,

I sometimes have to watch my little brother when my mother and father go out to run errands but he hurts himself by falling down a lot. I'm tired of having to bandage his scraped knees and elbows. What should I do?

Little Big Sister

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Dear Little Big Sister,

The next time your darling and precocious little brother decides to hurt himself, just tell him this:

'Sack up and play hurt, pissy-pants.'

My dear brother told me that every time I injured myself, including the time I broke my arm by falling out of a tree. Suffice it to say, I learned quickly to either be more careful or apply my own bandages.

Signed, 

The Phoenix