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Do's and Don'ts - Printable Version

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Do's and Don'ts - Reth - 06-04-2015

Newcomer to RPing Online here, with a bit of beginner's anxiety. With my limited experience I know there are some things that really irritate the common roleplayer, so before I get in character I've been reading up on the Etiquette provided in the help threads posted here, but I was looking for something a bit more personal from the community.

What are some of the warning signs that put you off a new characters? What are some of your pet peeves? What should I, as a new player, avoid doing if possible to become respected part of this community? Some examples might be, "Oh great, another female Miqo'te" or "Oh great, another character who was orphaned with a dark mysterious past".

And lastly, how do you personally find the balance between creating an interesting character without going full Mary Sue?

Thanks, and sorry if threads like this is one of your pet peeves. Tongue


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Chill Man - 06-04-2015

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Do what you want. It's your subscription, your RP. As long as you enjoy what you are doing and you aren't being disruptive to others, DO IT.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Merri - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:20 AM)Chill Man Wrote: Do what you want. It's your subscription, your RP. As long as you enjoy what you are doing and you aren't being disruptive to others, DO IT.

This, really. Do what you enjoy. Some people will dig certain things, other people might hate them, but at the end of the day you should do something that you enjoy. As long as you're having fun, and enjoying the experience, that's all that really matters.

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: And lastly, how do you personally find the balance between creating an interesting character without going full Mary Sue?

Flaws. Flaws for days. Honestly, I find a character's flaws to be far, far more interesting than what they can do well. Doubly so when they're well layered and come out in ways that, to the unknowing, might seem to be benign actions or traits.

My character, for example, has a myriad of flaws that most people won't really be able to pick up on or know about unless they actually know the character to some degree. I have much more fun exploring those than anything related to his martial prowess. He's an adventurer as far as that's concerned, and that's that. His character flaws, on the other hand, dictate so many of his actions in ways most people probably aren't aware.

Characters who can strike a balance and bring out those flaws when and where appropriate are always very exciting to me. I like knowing there's some meat behind the character. Something to dig into. Something to make them seem real, and not some fantastical fairy tale hero.

An example might be that maybe you have a character who's incredibly brazen. Really cocky, full of himself. Thinks he's the best. In reality, however, he has a great deal of self-esteem issues that drive him to act out in that fashion. He wants people to perceive him in a light that he's unable to see himself in, so he puts on this facade to achieve it in hopes that he might be able to believe it himself. However, maybe people find him to actually be reliable because he puts himself out there. A positive out of his negative.

Layer your character as you build them. Don't just think about the positives, or the negatives. Think about both, and how they interact with each other.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Fox - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:54 AM)Merri Wrote:
(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: And lastly, how do you personally find the balance between creating an interesting character without going full Mary Sue?

Flaws. Flaws for days. Honestly, I find a character's flaws to be far, far more interesting than what they can do well. Doubly so when they're well layered and come out in ways that, to the unknowing, might seem to be benign actions or traits.

My character, for example, has a myriad of flaws that most people won't really be able to pick up on or know about unless they actually know the character to some degree. I have much more fun exploring those than anything related to his martial prowess. He's an adventurer as far as that's concerned, and that's that. His character flaws, on the other hand, dictate so many of his actions in ways most people probably aren't aware.

Characters who can strike a balance and bring out those flaws when and where appropriate are always very exciting to me.

However, as you've said it needs a balance. Because if you have too many flaws you come off as an attention-seeking sue as well. So basically it comes to the Goldilocks equation. Not too hot, not too cold.

And like the others said, OP? Do what you find enjoyable aside from being obnoxious and irritating/trolling others. Smile


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Cato - 06-04-2015

- Think critically. Self moderation is important when one considers that role-play is a group activity. 

- Don't immediately discount advice given to you even if you don't agree with it. After all, if multiple unaffiliated individuals are claiming that something isn't working out then there's a high chance that changes need to be made.

- Be consistent with your character. Don't make them an adventurer one minute only to then become a criminal the next. Let them evolve naturally!

- Don't be afraid to experiment with character concepts and ideas until you find something that works for you. What may seem like a good idea in theory may not be all that fun in practice.

- Communicate! It's the key to finding and keeping reliable contacts to interact with.

- Don't be afraid to cut away those who are overly negative. Role-play can become very dull if you're interacting with individuals who never have anything positive to say.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Cliodhna Eoghan - 06-04-2015

you don't have to (and generally aren't expected) to have every minor detail of your back-story hammered out first day you log in. be a bit vague and loose with it. it's much easier to change things about a character that's not quite working out if you haven't ic told 20 people you've got that trait or lack of. not saying you need to be all super mysterious either but think of it in terms of meeting someone at a party face to face; you won't tell them all your emotional scars, if you've killed someone, long lost siblings, if you're adopted ect ect, but you may mention you don't like peanut butter if the conversation steers that way. part of the fun of roleplaying is coming to those little details that make your character as you play. ;3


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Nako Vesh - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: What are some of your pet peeves?

This is very subjective. What bothers someone might be cool to someone else. There's a number of things I see in RP that may make me roll my eyes, but I won't avoid people or put them down over it (in fact they're not even worth mentioning lol). Just keep those OOC lines of communication open. Mention you're new, and I think most people will be forgiving of any etiquette slip ups.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Nebbs - 06-04-2015

There is no one-way, so play what you like, you will always find someone of a similar view.

However, if you want a wider set of RP engagements then you have to adopt the lowest common denominator profile, at least the one you show out in open RP. Then, observe how others you are with are RPing and adapt to fit. 

Also develop an attitude of not caring so much what others consider do's and don'ts, unless you are directly RPing with them. If you are having fun and not harassing people.. go for it.

Also consider how much you are compromising your style to fit in with their style and how much are they likewise compromising theirs. For light engagements this is fine, but if you go on for any length or depth the differences become issues.

For a more lengthy piece on RP I'd suggest [The Role Play Handbook]


RE: Do's and Don'ts - C'kayah Polaali - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: And lastly, how do you personally find the balance between creating an interesting character without going full Mary Sue?

Imagine your character was actually someone else's character. Would you want to RP with them, or would you roll your eyes and go "Christ, no!"?

That's how you find the balance.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Lilia Lia - 06-04-2015

The people who say "do what you want" seem to be misunderstanding what you are asking, I think. I get the impression you just want to know what the RP climate is like and what things are generally frowned upon. There are certainly things that are considered bad manners in RP generally speaking, so "do what you want" is a little overly simplistic and people are likely to furrow their brow at you if you do distasteful things on the grounds of "hey, it's my subscription that I'm paying for, I can play a character however I want!"

It would be a good rule if RP was a one-player experience, but since it's not, it's good to observe a few general guidelines.

As a new player, here's a few ground rules: you are not the Warrior of Light, you are not the Slayer of Primals. You are not an existing anime or video game character transplanted into the FF world from another dimension. Any time you write your character as being "the only one" of something, stop yourself and think about it.

For developing a character, my main pet peeve is characters who don't seem to have come from the game world. Take a little time to talk to the NPCs in the towns and get a feel for what the world is like. Read the story while you're playing, even the side quests (maybe especially the side quests) because those will help you understand the world. Making a lore-based character is a very big "do" in my opinion. Your character should feel like they were born and grew up in the FFXIV world. This takes a bit of research, but it can be fun research because a lot of it is in-game.

Examples of cliches that bother me? I'll give you a few at the risk of upsetting some of the people in the community.

Well, the orphan thing is a good start, generally characters with no parents or dubious parentage strike me as a scapegoat for "it's less work than coming up with a real childhood." There ought to be people in your past, and it can be fun to come up with them. It doesn't even have to be much, but have a hometown, have parents, have a past that continues to be relevant to your character.

Something that bothers me personally is when people don't RP their race. I think I'm in the minority on this one, though. There's not much explicitly stated race lore, but there's a lot that you can derive from the story, NPC dialogue, and common sense. Anyone whose race is more than just a cosmetic thing, and particularly people who add in a few things that are "typical of their race," always get brownie points with me. The huge racial diversity of the FFXIV world is just part of the fantasy experience to me and I like thinking of the races as discrete and internally consistent.

Going along with this, a big annoyance for me is IC fantasia, especially when it comes with big detailed justifications. The reason this annoys me is because it undermines the significance of race, "I was a Roegadyn but now I'm an Elezen woman because a wizard cast a spell on me" etc etc. It also tends to be something that doesn't naturally grow out of the character but is a reflection of an OOC desire to arbitrarily change their appearance because they no longer want to have kitty ears. A lesser evil here is retconning, in my opinion, but I generally don't like when people use fantasia on their characters.

As for creating an interesting character without being a Mary Sue, I think that stems from basing a character in their past and their future motivations. Flaws can make your character interesting, and they can also add a lot of levity to RP if you play them up at your own character's expense. You run the risk of creating conflict, but as a friend of mine once said, "conflict is the center of good RP."

Glad for the question and I hope it helps you understand the community a little better. Welcome!


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Hammersmith - 06-04-2015

Lot of good info in this thread.  Use it.

One I didn't see mentioned, and a personal thing that twists my ear and pisses me off more often than not:

Make sure your char has a reason to interact, get involved, and step out.

Mr. Broods McDarksalot in the corner isn't going to get into any fun if they never step into and interact with people.  Sad shy girl isn't going to have anything happen if they never leave their table and never talk.  If either of them do, it's a thin soup of a story since they'll go back to Dark and/or Quiet waiting for the next plot point to come to them instead of getting involved in them.

IN short: You're RPing in a group environment.  Have reasons, twists, flaws, merits, and other personality things that make sure you interact with the group.

Otherwise you're background colour and making everyone else do the work of bringing RP to you, instead of making a collective story.

People who get mad about never getting RP and then mention their char is a super secret ninja who never reveals their location or speaks to people outside of their extensive NPC organization that no one knows about kind of piss me off.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Addison - 06-04-2015

These are all really good points. As another person who is new to the community I just wanted to say thanks for the thread and thanks for the answers.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - McBeefâ„¢ - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:42 PM)Hammersmith Wrote: Lot of good info in this thread.  Use it.

One I didn't see mentioned, and a personal thing that twists my ear and pisses me off more often than not:

Make sure your char has a reason to interact, get involved, and step out.

Mr. Broods McDarksalot in the corner isn't going to get into any fun if they never step into and interact with people.  Sad shy girl isn't going to have anything happen if they never leave their table and never talk.  If either of them do, it's a thin soup of a story since they'll go back to Dark and/or Quiet waiting for the next plot point to come to them instead of getting involved in them.

IN short: You're RPing in a group environment.  Have reasons, twists, flaws, merits, and other personality things that make sure you interact with the group.

Otherwise you're background colour and making everyone else do the work of bringing RP to you, instead of making a collective story.

People who get mad about never getting RP and then mention their char is a super secret ninja who never reveals their location or speaks to people outside of their extensive NPC organization that no one knows about kind of piss me off.

Very true.

Art imitates life. You can make a shy or non-outgoing character but just like real life they're going to spend most of their time alone.

You kind of have to make your character outgoing in at least some way, or have a hook you can bother people about. Either that or you have to already know a group of people ready to integrate hidey mcshy pants, your miqo'te rogue.

A good way to start is to just have some issue or problem your character wants to solve, and it requires other people to help them with. For example, Evangeline wanted to overthrow the government of Ul'dah. Not a realistic goal, but it gave her a reason to walk up to strangers and thrust revolutionary pamphlets into their hands.


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Mercurias - 06-04-2015

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: What are some of the warning signs that put you off a new characters?

As far as "warning signs" go, the main one I think of is a character immediately showing genuine romantic interest in mine right off the bat. Not flirting or flirty behavior, but deep, longing glances and acting like a soul mate or something. I'm a little jittery about romance RP in general because of drama that can follow, so if your character immediately tries to initiate that before they know one another, that's not going to get a good reaction from me.

Another thing is walking up and instantly attempting to metagame completing an action successfully on my character. If you say "Jim-bob walks up to where Soren is sitting at the bar, grabs him by the hair, and slams his face into the bar repeatedly until his body goes slack and he stops breathing" then you're on my blacklist for godmoding. Always give your actions a chance to fail unless you talk to the other player in advance and know what they'd like.

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: What are some of your pet peeves?

I personally don't like it when someone turns an interaction into a "Who could win in a fight?" dialogue or begins making random accusations in order to start a fight. There are a lot of ways to get a reaction out of a room without instantly turning on the aggression, especially because the kind of characters who start this tend to be the ones who like to play physically dominating sorts who are just out to beat someone down.

I also prefer the erp/makeout RP be taken to tells, please.

As a personal note, and others are -absolutely and justifiably- not going to get an argument if they disagree with me on this (so put the knives down), I tend not to like a lot of paragraph posting in busy or fast-paced RP. They take a long time to compose and a lot of folks are speeding through conversations. In forum RP I like the longer paragraph format for rich and vivid writing, but in-game I follow the maxim "Brevity is wit". It helps communication flows a little faster, and big text walls don't hammer chat boxes and make it harder to find posts. 

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: What should I, as a new player, avoid doing if possible to become respected part of this community?

To be frank, you shouldn't be aiming to becoming a venerable part of the community. Just be a -part- of the community. 99% of the 'cool' or 'popular' or 'respected' posters here don't seem to be doing anything for name recognition. They're just trying to contribute and make the community as a whole better. Sounsy is a lore god, for example. nobody asked Sounsy to start it. S/he just started gathering lore and posting to help people out.

Just participate and try to make things better. Respect will come based on what you do. 

And personally, I'll respect you a lot more if you stay clear of forum drama. >.>

(06-04-2015, 12:07 AM)Reth Wrote: And lastly, how do you personally find the balance between creating an interesting character without going full Mary Sue?

A Mary Sue character is really kind of an idealized character who might be an author insert and can carry implications of wish fulfilment. 

In other words, a Mary Sue character tends to be often close to perfect and gathers people who love them.

To me? Perfect is boring.

My main character is a catboy with the absolute worst personal skills imaginable. Half of the good things he does end up being soured by the words that come out of his mouth, and he almost prefers it that way because he's afraid of getting too close to people. It someone put duct tape over his mouth, he would actually probably end up being a heck of a lot more likeable as a person. What makes him interesting, at least to me, is that struggle between obviously caring about people's well being and acting like a giant dick.

The end result can sort of be seen by what Sato's recently deceased (RIP Ellion) FC leader wrote about him in his will"

 "M'sato, you are probably the biggest asshole to have ever graced Eorzean soil when you were torn from the womb of that mother that had to have cussed the gods you came to be. Don't ever change. Well... maybe change your attitude. But you have good qualities, and if the existence of this will is any testament worth its salt at all, it is that you have a follow-through no one else can match.


The important thing isn't how perfect your character is. It's who your character is. How they act, what they struggle with, what makes them hurt, what makes them cry, what makes them laugh or turns them on and how they cope with all of it as well as how they touch the lives of those around them.

Perfect is limiting. Make enemies, then make up with them. Screw up. Fall down and have trouble getting up again. Lose when everyone expects you to win, and win when everyone expects you to lose. 

Have fun with it. It's your character. Smile


RE: Do's and Don'ts - Reth - 06-05-2015

Thanks for the great responses all, both for the words of encouragement and the honest answers, it has given me a lot to think about and the talk about flaws helped me flesh out a whole new depth to my character's backstory that I have in mind.

I was toying with the idea of having a Miqo'te male, who was raised by Hyur (for reasons I'll save as my character's secret for now), who has potential to explore some self identity development. His adoptive parents are alive and well, but he was left behind as a babe by his genetic parents for a very miqo'te-culture specific reason, so I'm going to try my best to be accurate to his miqo'te genetics and lore while embracing some awkwardly adopted Hyur mannerisms, including a Hyur-given name. I'm hoping I can pull this off without appearing cringe-worthy, and as per all of your advice, subtlety. Beyond his backstory, I think I will let his personality develop naturally as I meet new people.

This thread has given me a lot of motivation, so I will hopefully see some of you in game on Balmung soon. I've leveled myself up high enough to wear an in-character appropriate outfit. Smile

I like how this discussion has developed, so any more input is welcome.