(10-15-2013, 09:21 AM)Skaenmoen Zaesylbwyn Wrote: Your descriptions are lovely and quite vivid. My only critique is that you filled it with so many lovely images that I feel like I only got a couple seconds of actual story.
Yeah, I was thinking it was starting to become a little stuffy in there too xD I would dare say it would be Tolkien but I am not so presumptuous to ever think I could ever be a good a writer xD As a side benefit, I am actually glad you got just a couple of seconds of actual story so to speak, but I think I do need to touch up on some clarifications.
(10-15-2013, 09:46 AM)Brave Wrote: Hopeless Romantics unite sir.
It was a wonderful read, and I liked the song choice. =)
Thanks! The song choice will have much more of an impact once I actually explain why I did what I did with the tag and all xD
(10-15-2013, 10:28 AM)Desmond Aryll Wrote: It was beautiful. I really enjoyed it. I read it the second time as the song played and it was even better. The song really adds to the the mood. Wonderful.
If I had to wring a critique out of myself (which I don't really want to), it would be that the last bit might need a little more clarification. Not enough to disturb the poecy of the writing but it did take me a sec to see it was a different place.
THIS! Holy balls this! xD I was REALLY not liking how I transitioned the scenes. After hearing this feedback from you and others I most DEFINITELY will need to re-write that part!Â
Thank you everyone who so far have given me their input! Next, I will have to work on the thread about the [Song Challenge] when work allows xD
Note - Updated the OOC to give a little reflection of why the music is there.
