Roen could see the slow waning of her young pupil’s elation as he stuttered out the question. His nervous energy gave her pause, making the paladin give Chachanji’s shifting expression a second look. There was more behind that question, and when she realized it, she found herself at a bit of a loss.
She could have won. But that was never the real point of this outing. When they started the race, she was fully prepared to give him the toughest competition yet. The thought of throwing the race--if that was what she did--hadn’t even crossed her mind. She just saw that Chachanji’s spirit was taking a turn for the worse towards the end, and race or no, she needed to fix it.
But were she in Chachanji’s position, the last thing she would want is her opponent to throw the contest. The joy of victory needed to stand on its own merit to be truly enjoyed. Would she tell him it was all a big lesson? Was there some deep meaning she wanted to impart in her choice of actions? She was his mentor now after all, shouldn’t she have some profound guidance to impart? When Roen realized that none of these thoughts went through her head as she decided to serve as his last obstacle, that it was purely driven by instinct, she just smiled sheepishly.
“It just felt like the right thing to do.†Roen gave him a small shrug. She chewed her lips slightly, not quite happy with that simple answer. “And Goldwind was still pretty confident that he could still catch up to you both...so I thought it would be a close race either way.†She glanced over her shoulder to her bird, who responded with a spirited kweh and a flutter of his wings in response. Turning her attention back to the youth at hand, the paladin thought for a moment longer, trying to make sense of her own intuition. “Sometimes you just need to go with your gut. Just like that last jump you made, you did not think on the hows or whys, you just did it. Because it needed to be done. And when you succeeded, it felt wonderful.â€
“Now, jumping over something to avoid a collision and doing the right thing are not the same.†She canted her head, expression softening. “But in both instances I have always felt that you do what comes naturally to you. What you feel driven to do. In time, experience will temper your judgement and mold you instincts.†She reached over to stroke Avenger’s head feathers. “Had I not known how to gauge your riding skills from watching you, I doubt I would have felt compelled to run directly into your path.â€
Roen gave Chachanji another sidelong glance, as if to take measure of his response to her words. This was partly why she had hesitated in accepting a pupil. She never thought of herself as someone wise, or learned in ways of paladinhood. But he seemed so eager, and he reminded her so much of herself that she could not refuse. And now, as she heard her own words, she wondered if those were the lessons she would impart onto her younger self. Would she still say the same knowing what she does now? To trust in her instincts even in the face of adversity? Even if it would lead to lessons she was not prepared for? Some that were almost too painful to bear?
The paladin shook her head suddenly as if to shake away her doubts. She needed not delve into her own life while teaching the youth. Roen smiled again, this time more brightly, trying to revive the exuberance of the race.
“You did well, Chachanji. Else you would not have won the race. You should be proud of yourself.â€
She could have won. But that was never the real point of this outing. When they started the race, she was fully prepared to give him the toughest competition yet. The thought of throwing the race--if that was what she did--hadn’t even crossed her mind. She just saw that Chachanji’s spirit was taking a turn for the worse towards the end, and race or no, she needed to fix it.
But were she in Chachanji’s position, the last thing she would want is her opponent to throw the contest. The joy of victory needed to stand on its own merit to be truly enjoyed. Would she tell him it was all a big lesson? Was there some deep meaning she wanted to impart in her choice of actions? She was his mentor now after all, shouldn’t she have some profound guidance to impart? When Roen realized that none of these thoughts went through her head as she decided to serve as his last obstacle, that it was purely driven by instinct, she just smiled sheepishly.
“It just felt like the right thing to do.†Roen gave him a small shrug. She chewed her lips slightly, not quite happy with that simple answer. “And Goldwind was still pretty confident that he could still catch up to you both...so I thought it would be a close race either way.†She glanced over her shoulder to her bird, who responded with a spirited kweh and a flutter of his wings in response. Turning her attention back to the youth at hand, the paladin thought for a moment longer, trying to make sense of her own intuition. “Sometimes you just need to go with your gut. Just like that last jump you made, you did not think on the hows or whys, you just did it. Because it needed to be done. And when you succeeded, it felt wonderful.â€
“Now, jumping over something to avoid a collision and doing the right thing are not the same.†She canted her head, expression softening. “But in both instances I have always felt that you do what comes naturally to you. What you feel driven to do. In time, experience will temper your judgement and mold you instincts.†She reached over to stroke Avenger’s head feathers. “Had I not known how to gauge your riding skills from watching you, I doubt I would have felt compelled to run directly into your path.â€
Roen gave Chachanji another sidelong glance, as if to take measure of his response to her words. This was partly why she had hesitated in accepting a pupil. She never thought of herself as someone wise, or learned in ways of paladinhood. But he seemed so eager, and he reminded her so much of herself that she could not refuse. And now, as she heard her own words, she wondered if those were the lessons she would impart onto her younger self. Would she still say the same knowing what she does now? To trust in her instincts even in the face of adversity? Even if it would lead to lessons she was not prepared for? Some that were almost too painful to bear?
The paladin shook her head suddenly as if to shake away her doubts. She needed not delve into her own life while teaching the youth. Roen smiled again, this time more brightly, trying to revive the exuberance of the race.
“You did well, Chachanji. Else you would not have won the race. You should be proud of yourself.â€
