(06-16-2016, 03:13 PM)Yune Wrote:(06-16-2016, 01:10 PM)Selarian Cloverbloom Wrote: I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.
I've felt this anxiety on many occasions as well. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy, but I'm a rather quiet and reserved individual who hasn't had much experience with reaching out to others or being the instigator of new friendships. This is part of the reason my FFXIV experience thus far has been about 80-90% solo play and no RP.
It's been coupled with my current insecurity about rejoining the community after my long break as I don't really know anyone and have no close friends who may help. I'm an unknown with no reputation (that I know of) so my hesitation in putting myself out there often spawns from that nagging thought of "why would anyone be interested in someone like me with no track record?" But as I don't know effective ways to really get out there in the mix, I have that fear that I'll just be stuck in limbo forever.
It also doesn't help my confidence when I do manage to meet people who actively seek me out at first, yet inevitably show me that they have no interest in me or my characters and would rather talk about themself and their own ideas all day while promptly changing the subject when I try to mention anything from my own side. I can understand being proud of one's creation or ideas, but from the perspective of the one who gets silenced repeatedly because of this pride, it flares up the crippling thought that perhaps I have simply nothing to offer anyone. I know that such things are entirely dependent on the types of people I come across, as not everyone is so self-centered, but my luck thus far hasn't helped me at all.
This is so much me. Even before leaving I was pretty much unknown by the community and now that I'm back I'm close to invisible and I am uncomfortable when close to someone popular that monopolize the scene (willingly or not). It doesn't help that I have major social anxieties about sending /tells to anyone and approaching new people usually require a monumental effort from me.
That's why I don't seek out long-term partners out in the public. It drains me too much to send those /tells and organize things. I'll still do it if I "must" but it burns me out. I'd rather do something more spontaneous like walk-ups and in-FC RP.
You are not alone!