Sounsyy stared into the darkness while he spoke, only glancing over at the Miqo'te occasionally when he paused or shifted his weight. Her eyes scanned back and forth into the swirling dust, rising and settling beneath the torchlights in time with their calming breaths. Sounsyy continued to nibble on her cracker until he addressed her directly, "I'd rather just be called Ryanti. That is... if I earned it."
She looked at him blankly, deciding whether or not to call him anything other than Seventy-seven. She looked down, noting the rag in his hand. She looked then at her rifle still resting across her feet. She said nothing but reached over to take the rag from him, but paused when Ryanti spoke.
"Before you were Captain Mirke of the Roehmerl or Mirke the Maimer… what did you do?â€
Sounsyy met his gaze and took the rag firmly in her hands. She didn't even have to think about the answer, "I killed people Ryanti. That's what I did."
She looked away and lifted the rifle off of her feet, pulling it into her lap so that it rested with its stock against her pelvis and the barrel leaning against her thigh. She bent over so her nose was mere ilms for the weapon and began cleansing the gun with the rag wrapped about her forefinger. She was quiet while she did this, giving her response ample time to soak in and for Ryanti to ruminate on it. She considered this one of many differences between them. Ryanti was not his job. He was detached from it, or tried to be. He had a normal life. She...
"Yer foolin' yerself if yeh think I'm not those people - the Maimer, the Captain - and I think it's more wishful thinkin' to think everything yeh went through to get to this mission 'asn't changed who you are. In meh experience, what yeh do when no one's looking is who yeh are, not who yeh pretend to be where others can see yeh," she said quietly. It was of course directed at Ryanti's own double life, but she put it matter-of-factly without bitterness in her voice. She sighed and turned the gun over in her lap to scrub the other side.
"I'm still hard-ass Cap'n Mirke and that scared little girl both when no one's looking. I guess that's the difference between yeh n' me. We've got similarities, don't get meh wrong. Meh parents lived modestly I guess - strong, respected, not wealthy really. I wanted to be like meh father growing up. I don't think I'm much like him anymore. He were killed during Ala Mhigo's fall so I'll never really know. I became one of hundreds of blooded Ala Mhigan youths left with nothing. Nowadays, most Ala Mhigans have given up. Either Ul'dah's kicked the fight out of 'em or they're just too young to know any different then rollin' about in squalor and dirt. But back then..."
Sounsyy sighed almost wistfully. Her weapon polished, she deposited the rag over one of her drawn up knees and reclined the rifle across one shoulder. She realized she had not yet finished her fishtack, so she retrieved the piece resting in her lap and took a large nibble out of it.
"Let's just say I've been fightin' a long time. That girl from the Bloodsands yeh admire, the Maimier? She'd already been fighting the Garleans fer three cycles. Killed a dozen or more of the bastards on her own. But back then, the city-states didn't want anything to do with the Empire or helping those what lost to it. We Ala Mhigans had to fight fer our homeland on our own. That's where the resentment started. I didn't realize how much I hated them - Ul'dah - until I fought in the Coliseum."
She took another bite of her cracker, "Yer covered in sweat and blood and sand and yeh look up at this crowd dressed in silks, jeering down at yeh, throwing gold and jewels at one another like just one of them couldn't feed the whole Silver Bazaar fer moons. That's about the time yeh stop feeling guilty fer doing horrible things to horrible people and that was a hard lesson to learn fer a fifteen year old girl," she said finishing off her fishtack.
She brushed her hands against her thighs to clean them before leaning over to replace the remaining supplies back inside her backpack. She returned her gaze to the dark hallway, finding it impossible how just a few moments ago she was in the throws of panic at some shapeless specter. There was nothing in this hallway. Nothing but history, even the words she spoke - history.
"I got disenchanted with fake fights," she said easily, as if she hadn't killed her opponent in the first match, "Fake fights fer fake infamy from a crowd what didn't really care whether I lived or died unless they staked their money upon the outcome. So I got out, first chance I could, and returned to the Ala Mhigan front where my people were still fighting real wars against a real threat for a real cause. But, as I'm sure yeh know, it were all fer naught. By the time we realized nothing more could be done fer our home, our losses were immeasurable. That's how I came to live in Limsa. Moved there with a friend after she were hurt. We'd known each other since we were babes. Thought we could just live out the rest of our days enjoying some measure of peace together. Well, we got a few years in afore word from the Ala Mhigan spies we'd died tryin' to sneak into the city told of coming Garlean invasion."
Sounsyy shifted her rifle a bit before continuing, "So like good little soldiers we joined the Barracuda. At least one of the city-states had decided to take the fight to Garlemald, pirating and burning their ships. I became a quartermaster under a bitch of a captain. Took control of that ship when my captain ate a Sahagin spear near a year later. So I ran meh Levy through the Seventh Hell, into the kobold wars, Iron Lake, Carteneau... Meh Levy didn't make the journey, most of them. That's why I'm here y'know? Because they don't think I care how many lives it takes to get the job done. Think I'm desensitized to it by now. Best kept secret is I'm not, not really..."
Sounsyy leaned forwards and brought her knees up under her, pushing off into a shaking standing position. She had sat still for too long. She stretched, then doubled forwards sweeping her good hand down to retrieve the rag that had fallen from its resting place on her knee. She picked it up and shook it free from the dust before tossing it back to Ryanti. She was quiet for a bit, not really looking at Ryanti for her gaze was held upon the pathway before them. Her sudden, quiet laugh was almost jarring from her normally placid demeanor.
"Captain... Maimer... they're big parts of who I am. Don't ever doubt that, but they ain't the only parts. Bad people can 'ave good sides too, even if they ain't willing to show them."
She motioned down the hallway and started to unsling her rifle into a ready position, "Let's walk and talk, yeh? Knowin' yeh, yeh've got loads more questions. Should make clearin' this hallway a bit less tense. If yer ready that is?"
She looked at him blankly, deciding whether or not to call him anything other than Seventy-seven. She looked down, noting the rag in his hand. She looked then at her rifle still resting across her feet. She said nothing but reached over to take the rag from him, but paused when Ryanti spoke.
"Before you were Captain Mirke of the Roehmerl or Mirke the Maimer… what did you do?â€
Sounsyy met his gaze and took the rag firmly in her hands. She didn't even have to think about the answer, "I killed people Ryanti. That's what I did."
She looked away and lifted the rifle off of her feet, pulling it into her lap so that it rested with its stock against her pelvis and the barrel leaning against her thigh. She bent over so her nose was mere ilms for the weapon and began cleansing the gun with the rag wrapped about her forefinger. She was quiet while she did this, giving her response ample time to soak in and for Ryanti to ruminate on it. She considered this one of many differences between them. Ryanti was not his job. He was detached from it, or tried to be. He had a normal life. She...
"Yer foolin' yerself if yeh think I'm not those people - the Maimer, the Captain - and I think it's more wishful thinkin' to think everything yeh went through to get to this mission 'asn't changed who you are. In meh experience, what yeh do when no one's looking is who yeh are, not who yeh pretend to be where others can see yeh," she said quietly. It was of course directed at Ryanti's own double life, but she put it matter-of-factly without bitterness in her voice. She sighed and turned the gun over in her lap to scrub the other side.
"I'm still hard-ass Cap'n Mirke and that scared little girl both when no one's looking. I guess that's the difference between yeh n' me. We've got similarities, don't get meh wrong. Meh parents lived modestly I guess - strong, respected, not wealthy really. I wanted to be like meh father growing up. I don't think I'm much like him anymore. He were killed during Ala Mhigo's fall so I'll never really know. I became one of hundreds of blooded Ala Mhigan youths left with nothing. Nowadays, most Ala Mhigans have given up. Either Ul'dah's kicked the fight out of 'em or they're just too young to know any different then rollin' about in squalor and dirt. But back then..."
Sounsyy sighed almost wistfully. Her weapon polished, she deposited the rag over one of her drawn up knees and reclined the rifle across one shoulder. She realized she had not yet finished her fishtack, so she retrieved the piece resting in her lap and took a large nibble out of it.
"Let's just say I've been fightin' a long time. That girl from the Bloodsands yeh admire, the Maimier? She'd already been fighting the Garleans fer three cycles. Killed a dozen or more of the bastards on her own. But back then, the city-states didn't want anything to do with the Empire or helping those what lost to it. We Ala Mhigans had to fight fer our homeland on our own. That's where the resentment started. I didn't realize how much I hated them - Ul'dah - until I fought in the Coliseum."
She took another bite of her cracker, "Yer covered in sweat and blood and sand and yeh look up at this crowd dressed in silks, jeering down at yeh, throwing gold and jewels at one another like just one of them couldn't feed the whole Silver Bazaar fer moons. That's about the time yeh stop feeling guilty fer doing horrible things to horrible people and that was a hard lesson to learn fer a fifteen year old girl," she said finishing off her fishtack.
She brushed her hands against her thighs to clean them before leaning over to replace the remaining supplies back inside her backpack. She returned her gaze to the dark hallway, finding it impossible how just a few moments ago she was in the throws of panic at some shapeless specter. There was nothing in this hallway. Nothing but history, even the words she spoke - history.
"I got disenchanted with fake fights," she said easily, as if she hadn't killed her opponent in the first match, "Fake fights fer fake infamy from a crowd what didn't really care whether I lived or died unless they staked their money upon the outcome. So I got out, first chance I could, and returned to the Ala Mhigan front where my people were still fighting real wars against a real threat for a real cause. But, as I'm sure yeh know, it were all fer naught. By the time we realized nothing more could be done fer our home, our losses were immeasurable. That's how I came to live in Limsa. Moved there with a friend after she were hurt. We'd known each other since we were babes. Thought we could just live out the rest of our days enjoying some measure of peace together. Well, we got a few years in afore word from the Ala Mhigan spies we'd died tryin' to sneak into the city told of coming Garlean invasion."
Sounsyy shifted her rifle a bit before continuing, "So like good little soldiers we joined the Barracuda. At least one of the city-states had decided to take the fight to Garlemald, pirating and burning their ships. I became a quartermaster under a bitch of a captain. Took control of that ship when my captain ate a Sahagin spear near a year later. So I ran meh Levy through the Seventh Hell, into the kobold wars, Iron Lake, Carteneau... Meh Levy didn't make the journey, most of them. That's why I'm here y'know? Because they don't think I care how many lives it takes to get the job done. Think I'm desensitized to it by now. Best kept secret is I'm not, not really..."
Sounsyy leaned forwards and brought her knees up under her, pushing off into a shaking standing position. She had sat still for too long. She stretched, then doubled forwards sweeping her good hand down to retrieve the rag that had fallen from its resting place on her knee. She picked it up and shook it free from the dust before tossing it back to Ryanti. She was quiet for a bit, not really looking at Ryanti for her gaze was held upon the pathway before them. Her sudden, quiet laugh was almost jarring from her normally placid demeanor.
"Captain... Maimer... they're big parts of who I am. Don't ever doubt that, but they ain't the only parts. Bad people can 'ave good sides too, even if they ain't willing to show them."
She motioned down the hallway and started to unsling her rifle into a ready position, "Let's walk and talk, yeh? Knowin' yeh, yeh've got loads more questions. Should make clearin' this hallway a bit less tense. If yer ready that is?"