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+-- Forum: Off-Topic (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=42)
+--- Forum: Off-Topic Discussion (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=14)
+--- Thread: I am considering leaving (/showthread.php?tid=9348)
I am considering leaving - Yhen Yizeh - 12-20-2014
Ever since playing here, I've been bullied and put aside as an outcast. No one seems to be on my side.Â
I don't really know what this post is going to accomplish. I hope that people will be sympathetic towards me and maybe others stop being so mean, because I do take all of it to heart and it hurts. ):
RE: I am considering leaving - K'nahli - 12-20-2014
Is this a forum and/or game issue, if I may ask?
RE: I am considering leaving - McBeefâ„¢ - 12-20-2014
Ok bye.
RE: I am considering leaving - Ludivine Goultard - 12-20-2014
I hope you already have the feeling I don't want you to go. We only just met ICly, but you seem like such a fun person to be with, and I really hope that whatever's getting to you doesn't get worse.
If you feel like leaving is the only way for you to not feel put out, then it might be needed. But please think it over first, I'm sure there are more people out there who like having you around.
RE: I am considering leaving - Oli! - 12-20-2014
Maybe some elaboration on the issue could help a bit? I'd love to try and fix problems, and I'm sure others would too, but I personally don't know what's going on.
RE: I am considering leaving - Aldotsk - 12-20-2014
While I admit that this community is really strict on what people say, but this is one part of the reason why you try not to insult anywhere
RE: I am considering leaving - Faye - 12-20-2014
If no one is on your side, it may be wise to reevaluate your own behavior rather than assuming the world is unfair and you've done no wrong.
RE: I am considering leaving - Parvacake - 12-20-2014
Normally I don't post to these sort of things but since it's been put out there as an actual forum thread...
Might be best to take a step back for a while and reevaluate how you have been approaching things and topics with others. Going to someone to apologize and then insulting them in the same breath (using as an example) doesn't reflect badly on the other person. It reflects poorly upon yourself.
If its RL stressors or if the game or community itself makes you feel this way, perhaps it's not a good fit or you need a few weeks to focus on other matters. It happens. I know there are games out there like EVE I will probably never fit in because from what I have heard and observed it doesn't seem like a scope I could agree with.
Aldotsk does have a point: Insulting is never the way to go, even if you might feel justified.
RE: I am considering leaving - Volk - 12-20-2014
I am sad to see this. I had a really good time doing random RP with your character the other night. It's unfortunate that I'm wrapped up into a million things (multiple story lines and a turtle's pace march to level 50) or I'd be more involved. I hope that my unavailability isn't a contributing factor; you're nice
RE: I am considering leaving - FreelanceWizard - 12-20-2014
All,
I don't mind a discussion that's nice, respectful, and doesn't call out individuals or groups. If someone has an issue and wants advice on dealing with it, that's a legitimate topic (though possibly one that could be better handled in private). We've had a few threads where people have asked for help when they've felt burned out or like they've had a bad run with people, and those have (often) been positive.
With that in mind, though, the mods and I are going to be keeping a close eye on this thread. Please be constructive, follow the rules, and don't let this devolve into a flame war.
#magicAdminHat
RE: I am considering leaving - McBeefâ„¢ - 12-20-2014
(12-20-2014, 04:00 PM)FreelanceWizard Wrote: All,
I don't mind a discussion that's nice, respectful, and doesn't call out individuals or groups. If someone has an issue and wants advice on dealing with it, that's a legitimate topic (though possibly one that could be better handled in private). We've had a few threads where people have asked for help when they've felt burned out or like they've had a bad run with people, and those have (often) been positive.
With that in mind, though, the mods and I are going to be keeping a close eye on this thread. Please be constructive, follow the rules, and don't let this devolve into a flame war.
#magicAdminHat
I'll do my best to play nice,
But hey everyone, no one owes you anything. If you think you aren't valued and want to leave, just leave. No need to make a spectacle and throw a pity party.
Not directed specifically at the OP, it's just we tend to have these threads rather frequently.
RE: I am considering leaving - DoomsdayClock - 12-20-2014
Im up for Rp most anytime. Got enough characters for most types too. PM me.
RE: I am considering leaving - Tiergan - 12-20-2014
Hey there, I understand you're unhappy with me, and that's okay. You have a right to those feelings. The advice I'm going to offer is given with all sincerity, respect, and good will - so I hope you'll hear me out.
You should know that it's okay if you don't get along with people. Sometimes personalities just clash and it's difficult to mesh with certain folks. Not everyone is going to like everyone else. You'll even encounter people you feel are mean to you. Whether or not they're actually mean depends on perspective and ultimately, doesn't matter - so don't worry about them. It's best not to spend any of your time fixating angrily upon any one individual that has upset you.
Instead, put all your focus on the people that treat you well, the people who have been kind to you and offered you friendship.
You already have a couple of folks in this thread talking about how they would be sad to see you go and that they have enjoyed RPing with you thus far. Instead of focusing so much of your energy on people who have upset you, invest it all in being showing these people how much you deeply appreciate their time and kindness. RP with them more, chat with them, do the Holiday Event with them, or just do neat things for them -- however you feel is best to show your thanks.
We all get angry at people sometimes. I would be lying if I said I've never held a grudge towards anyone. That said, I am a firm believer in that you get what you give. If you spend most of your time fixated on the people that have upset you, perhaps even spending energy railing against them -- then you have put out negativity and will only get increasing negativity in return. You feel bad. They feel bad. Everyone feels bad!
On the other hand, if you just avoid the people who have upset you (while being very polite to them if you encounter them!) - and instead invest all your time and energy on the people who have shown you kindness, on showing them how much you appreciate them, you're putting positivity out there and you'll hopefully get positivity back in return.
I hope this helps and I hope I didn't come off condescending or rude. I just didn't know how else to word my feelings.
RE: I am considering leaving - Ririla Rila - 12-20-2014
We RPed briefly but with prospects that we'd meet again! I was looking forward to that :c
I hope you don't leave, Lili wants very much to meet you again~
#LalaHugs
RE: I am considering leaving - Volk - 12-20-2014
(12-20-2014, 04:40 PM)Tiergan Wrote: Hey there, I understand you're unhappy with me, and that's okay. You have a right to those feelings. The advice I'm going to offer is given with all sincerity, respect, and good will - so I hope you'll hear me out.
You should know that it's okay if you don't get along with people. Sometimes personalities just clash and it's difficult to mesh with certain folks. Not everyone is going to like everyone else. You'll even encounter people you feel are mean to you. Whether or not they're actually mean depends on perspective and ultimately, doesn't matter - so don't worry about them. It's best not to spend any of your time fixating angrily upon any one individual that has upset you.
Instead, put all your focus on the people that treat you well, the people who have been kind to you and offered you friendship.
You already have a couple of folks in this thread talking about how they would be sad to see you go and that they have enjoyed RPing with you thus far. Instead of focusing so much of your energy on people who have upset you, invest it all in being showing these people how much you deeply appreciate their time and kindness. RP with them more, chat with them, do the Holiday Event with them, or just do neat things for them -- however you feel is best to show your thanks.
We all get angry at people sometimes. I would be lying if I said I've never held a grudge towards anyone. That said, I am a firm believer in that you get what you give. If you spend most of your time fixated on the people that have upset you, perhaps even spending energy railing against them -- then you have put out negativity and will only get increasing negativity in return. You feel bad. They feel bad. Everyone feels bad!
On the other hand, if you just avoid the people who have upset you (while being very polite to them if you encounter them!) - and instead invest all your time and energy on the people who have shown you kindness, on showing them how much you appreciate them, you're putting positivity out there and you'll hopefully get positivity back in return.
I hope this helps and I hope I didn't come off condescending or rude. I just didn't know how else to word my feelings.
I feel like this was really constructive. I don't know you, Tiergan, but have some rep for a kind and diplomatic reply that applies beyond this thread alone. I follow a very similar system and it keeps me focused on the people who make me remember why I love this game so much.
I might add that in time, the sting of being ostracized will fade and you can entertain notions of some intriguing nemesis rp!