+- Hydaelyn Role-Players (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18)
+-- Forum: Community (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: RP Discussion (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=13)
+--- Thread: Starting point for new character.. (/showthread.php?tid=1548)
Starting point for new character.. - Ustarte - 12-28-2012
Hi there everyone,
I didn't want to cram my Welcome Desk topic with the background I'm thinking of using for my new Highlander for 2.0, so decided to post here and see if anyone had any opinions on what I've got so far.
EDIT: Damn, just noticed the Assembly Room has RP-related Inquiries and Discussions, sorry still getting used to where everything goes :oops: , if a mod could be so kind as to move this topic there, or I could just clear this and make a new one.
Grammar/Format/General suggestions all appreciated, I'm not sure if I should leave communication parts as they are, or have actual speech "". Also since it's been a long while since I played, I'm not sure how accurate some of the lore I used is, so any corrections there would be great.
So here we go..
Ustarte's hardships began even before her birth with the fall of Ala Mhigo, fleeing within the chaos was a pregnant Virae Reiya guarded by her husband, Jaim, a low ranking member of the Lancers. She had become one of the first of many unfortunate generations that would never know the home of their ancestors, born into a nomadic lifestyle.
Despite her harsh upbringing, Ustarte grew into a happy child, her father's sturdy frame and skill with a spear ensured him work amongst various fishing vessels, while Virae studied at the Bismarck eventually becoming a chef for the Mizzenmast Inn.
On her 16th Nameday, Jaim finally allowed Ustarte to accompany him on a trade ship to Western Thanalan, it only took several malms from the ports of Limsa Lominsa for a love of the ocean to bloom. The crashing of the waves, the smell of salt in the air and the boisterous crew, she'd never felt anything so exhilarating, from that instant, Ustarte knew what she wanted...A ship of her own.
It was on the return trip that everything changed, roughly half-way through the journey, Ustarte spotted several strange objects in the sky, they looked like towers with wings. Fascinated, she looked to her father with a smile to see his grim expression, looking around at the rest of the crew, it seemed as though the life had been sucked out of them. As they neared Limsa Lominsa the sky began to darken, Dalamud, the fiery object that had appeared in the sky seemed to break apart, meteors rained down upon the City-State, tears began welling in the young Hyur's eyes.
Thaliak's Wisdom slammed into the docks, Ustarte hit the deck hard, as her vision cleared, she noticed the whole Highlander crew were already sprinting towards the city, weapons in hand. Ustarte had never known her homeland, never seen how proud and powerful her warrior clan had been before the invasion, now even her father's eyes, always so kind, now burned with an intense fury, all because of two words..Garlean Empire. Lifting Ustarte to her feet with one hand, Jaim carried her onto the dock, gently stroking her hair and reassuring her with his usual smile, he told her to find her mother, and for them to leave the city as quickly and quietly as they could, before running off after his clansmen.
A thunderous crack filled the air causing Ustarte to freeze in place a stones-throw away from the bottom of the Mizzenmast. Looking skyward she saw a great black winged beast emerging from within Dalamud, it's gaze followed by fire and death as it flew towards Limsa Lominsa. As if frozen in time, Ustarte watched motionless and silently as the ground and building around her erupted and shattered. A piece of debris smashed into the young Highlander, sending her reeling into the wall of the Mizzenmast, more rubble falling on to her, trapping her legs.
At first there was no pain, Ustarte sat there, pinned to the ground by several chunks of rock, confused. As realisation hit her, the pain set in, Ustarte's hands desperately scrabbled for leverage, jagged edges tearing her fingers to ribbons. Just as she was about to give up hope, 3 Midlanders ran past, the youngest seeing her and stopping..A man, woman and a child a little younger than herself, probably a family. Grabbing his father's sleeve the boy pointed to Ustarte and took a step towards her, the girl's bloody hand reaching out towards them, the father looked at her pitifully and mouthed something..I'm sorry..Hoisting the boy from his feet, the family ran.
Ustarte's vision blurred then faded, a strange feeling gripped her, first weightlessness, then a light impact, then weightlessness again. Her eyes were heavy, but she managed to force them slightly open, finding herself looking upon an Elezen man with long silver hair clad in armour of the darkest purple and trimmed with the whitest silver. Her strength fading once again, Ustarte's head sank back, looking behind them she noticed blue lights appearing all over the city, passing some of them closely, it became apparent that there were people inside the lights, and then nothing, they were vanishing. Hundreds of lights were appearing and vanishing before her eyes, as darkness took her once more, she thought to herself, I hope my parents are in one of those lights..
I'm completely new to RP, but I always did enjoy writing stories for all my units back when I played Warhammer 40k tabletop (Until I realised I'd spent around $1500 on 1 army
). The Elezen at the end of the story is my 1.0 character, and I was planning on continuing the story for the 5 cycles(it is 5 right?) between Bahamut and ARR.
Re: Starting point for new character.. - Mtoto Wamoto - 01-14-2013
I'm absolutely loving the character back story so far. I was actually a bit disappointed when I realized I reached the end because I wanted to keep reading more!
Just some of my thoughts:
Grammar and punctuation errors aside, it was very well written, at least for my tastes. The only thing I'd personally be a bit cautious about is the event towards the end where Ustarte sees others being teleported away in blue light (I'm assuming this is the same teleportation/light seen when Louisoix casts his spell to send those chosen forward in time and not a regular teleportation to an aetheryte. Of course, correct me if I'm wrong!) The only reason I'd be cautious is due to the fact that it hasn't been stated if only the people at the scene of the battle were sent forward or if others outside of Mor Dhona were sent as well. Judging from what you have written, it looks like it can be adjusted easily if the need ever arises, but I doubt it would be a problem in RP regardless.
Anyways, that's just my thought on it. Welcome to the RPC! I really hope to RP with you in the near future
Oh, and to answer your question, A Realm Reborn does takes place 5 years after the End of an Era event. :approve: