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+--- Thread: Critique/proofread requested (/showthread.php?tid=12942)
Critique/proofread requested - Kaiz - 08-11-2015
https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Kaiz_Kha
I just put up Kaiz's wiki profile, and was hoping people could look it over and see if anything is out of place or contradicts the lore. Stuff like the moving plants was just a guess since I imagine the Steppes to be very slight on plants (moving or otherwise) so it seemed like the sort of thing that would be strange to him.Â
It's pretty brief still. I'll add more to it as roleplay inspires me to expand on certain ideas so there isn't a whole ton to look at just yet.
RE: Critique/proofread requested - ɴᴘᴄ - 08-11-2015
Well, the word 'condition' appears several times. Perhaps rephrase or reword to avoid repetition. It's very apparent that he's resilient and physically tenacious.
Other than that, I don't know much about the lore of the Au Ra, but I wish I did as they are intriguing to say the least.
RE: Critique/proofread requested - Kaiz - 08-11-2015
(08-11-2015, 02:56 PM)Grandelion Wrote: Well, the word 'condition' appears several times. Perhaps rephrase or reword to avoid repetition. It's very apparent that he's resilient and physically tenacious.Oooh good catch. Right in the first line too. Fixed that, thanks.
Other than that, I don't know much about the lore of the Au Ra, but I wish I did as they are intriguing to say the least.