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RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 01-28-2016
The well-paved streets of the Pillars echoed Roen’s brisk footsteps as the paladin descended the avenue from the higher wealthy district towards Foundation. She minded not the drifting snowfall from above; her brows were bent, and her expression dark as the skies.
What does he know? Roen fumed as she recalled the words she and Khadai had exchanged, her arms swinging quickly by her side. She was not even sure what she had expected. Had they not begun their first encounter in a standoff? So why did his adamant views suddenly vex her? His stubbornness was as it had ever been, as was his brusque nature.
“You are a people of paradoxes. You see fit to ignore those people, to simply bury them beneath excuses. 'We do not have arms.' 'We do not have resources.' Yet for that one occasion, all focus was on bringing them a single day of relief. I would ask why you believe such a thing is acceptable."
Khadai’s solution was simple, his ideas unbending. His belief of how a society should behave was so even-handed and efficient, it was almost laughable that he expected such a thing to exist outside of his own idyllic tribe.
And yet, despite his idealistic views, he could not understand the purpose behind a sentimental gesture of giving comfort to those suffering even for one night. In his eyes it was futile; pointless, and perfunctory at best.
So was it his impossible utopian ideas that she was arguing against? Or his objection to charity? What made her dig in her heels and continue to argue against his views?
When she had tracked him down earlier, all she wanted was for him to reconsider in asking Eliane Dufresne the inflated fee he had demanded after passing out the food and drinks on the Elezen’s behalf in the Brume a few nights past. He asked for five times her promised payment after he completed the task, which found Eliane nearly speechless, initially, but the noblewoman gracefully agreed to it without protest.
"I believed the endeavour to be a waste of time. Thus I asked that compensation be raised in acknowledgement of that." Khadai explained when Roen asked him for his reasons. "That is your way here, is it not?"
Why did she think he would support such a cause? Perhaps she thought that his belief that every member in the society should share equally in both prosperity and poverty translated to altruistic gestures as well.
"What did that event accomplish?†Khadai exhaled. “It brought comfort to individuals for a day. Where are those individuals now?"
Roen scowled. "Same place. But a little less hungry. And perhaps a little less cold for a night."
"Same place," the Au Ra had echoed in a tone that could perhaps be called pitiable. He withdrew the slightly crumpled envelope from a pouch on his belt, the paper still sealed with the faded wax sigil of a bell. In one smooth motion, he tore the payment voucher into two pieces and flicked it idly with a finger, where the wind carried the fragments skipping down the cobbled streets. "Your efforts took them to the same place."
The stones beneath her boots turned more rough with loose gravel, the maintenance of the streets leading to the Brume not as immaculately maintained as those in the Pillars. Does he think such problems are so easily solved? She had contended that the solutions were not easy, and that others were making the effort for change, it was just slow in coming and fraught with conflicts and obstacles. But she knew deep down that things may never change, and she herself had not pushed for any either. The paladin had purposefully turned away from seeking out such causes because of her utter failure in Ul’dah.
Was that why she had grown angry at the Xaela? Because in his own way, he was questioning her inaction?
"Though it is not my place, I can speculate how we would solve your problems." Khadai’s tone had hardly wavered during their entire discussion; it was matter-of-fact, without boast. “Your Brume residents would be appraised for their role. Once organised, their equipment would be provided for by artisans. They would be fed by the hunters. The sick would be cared for. They would be guarded by Khadai. All will forfeit something for the greater whole, for it is a great society that gives way to great individuals."
It was so fair, systematic, and equal. Optimistic. Roen had heard similar plans like that before, reading over an outline for implementing changes in Ul’dah. She could still remember his small careful notes on the side on each page. And with that a shadow of his hopeful smile, his confident smirk, and his determined gaze flitted through her thoughts. A familiar pang returned to her chest. "And if there is not enough for all?"
The Au Ra had snorted. "There is enough here, for all. This is not Othard. To say otherwise is a simple denial. Those who have many forfeit what they possess to build a sustainable system for those who are lacking. A temporary cessation gives way to permanent solution."
"And if they refuse?"
“They would not refuse if they possessed sense." His observation was dry.
Khadai still had no understanding of people’s wont to put their own survival over the rest. The paladin too once thought that the world could be ruled by fairness, as he did. She once believed that justice would always prevail. That people would understand and support the efforts to aid those around them, even if it may be at a cost to themselves. She was wrong, and it was pointless to try and change that.
"The four Houses that rule Ishgard prefer to give on their own terms. They will not want to give up their comforts.†Roen frowned at him exasperatedly. "You underestimate people's want for power, but moreover, their fear of losing control. Of their security, of their way of life."
“And that is the difference between your peoples and mine." He jabbed a thumb at the house behind him. "This dwelling houses less than eight people. How many do you believe could utilize it for shelter?"
Roen stared at the random building. Its windows were frosted with heat from within and smoke wafted from its chimney top. She was certain the residents inside were well protected from the cold. “I do not understand it either," she murmured.
"Yet you defend it all the same."
Roen scowled instantly. "I do not defend those who hoard wealth for their own comfort!" Then what was she doing?
Khadai regarded her oddly. "I do not wish to imagine how confused you must be,†he had said quietly.
Her steps came to a stop; the paladin was standing still in the middle of the street in the Brume, staring down an alleyway in front her. She could see shivering figures crowded around a lit brazier, and a few more trembling bodies curled into a ball further down the unlit path.
She had given up on hopes for change. "I only wished for you to see that a little bit of charity for one night was not completely worthless. That is all." Her words had become terse toward the end of the conversation, her argument sounding hollow to her own ears. "I cannot fix this place.â€
"And as long as you believe that, your 'little bits of charity' will continue to be worthless," the Au Ra returned.
Her fingers curled into a tight fist by her side, her head bent low as a cold gust blew through the Brume, tossing her hair before her eyes. He was right. And she hated it.
“Well noted.†Roen had stared at him coolly. "I will leave you to your guard duty. You can pontificate your views on the rest of the world and its faults just long enough before you make your way back home."
She had walked away from him angry. But as she now stood amidst the rubble of the Brume, the paladin knew she had only lashed out at the Xaela because of her own shame.
‘May you forever have the strength to defend what you believe.’
The distant mutterings of those gathered by the fire filtered through her senses as another gale shook the shudders of a few ruined buildings around her. She could see a woman waving her young child back indoors, and a glimpse of blonde braids made the paladin catch her breath. It was a young girl, but her height, her gaunt frame, it reminded her of another child she had left behind in Ul’dah. Sayer would be about her age now…
She lightly tugged at the silver chain around her neck, rolling the two amethyst pendants that hung from it between her fingers. The paladin then spun back around, gravel grinding and stone clacking beneath her boots as she marched out of the Brume, intent on the nearest mail moogle.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 02-14-2016
I feel like a pretender.
Roen shook her head as if to dismiss her own words, looping over and over in her memory. It was what Roen had confessed quietly to Martiallais Heuloix, on the eve of Starlight, as they passed out warm sustenance to the residents in The Brume. A part of her regretted the admission after the fact, for she did not want to explain the meaning the doubt truly held. So she departed hastily soon thereafter, not wanting to confide more in the knight, as she was wont to do whenever they spoke at length.
But now the same words echoed in the paladin’s mind as she walked about the city, making inquiries of The Dufresne Bellworks. This was a decision she had come to after her argument with Khadai, although she wondered if she was doing so because of his words. The stubborn (and likely proud) side of her wanted to deny the possibility, that the Au Ra warrior could even have such an effect on her. Perhaps this was just an attempt to close another chapter in her life. Or she was just trying to at least honor the wishes of a man she once loved. Maybe this was a way of atoning for what she did?
“The Bellworks Foundry? Aye, we know ‘em. Most o’ their workers be commoners,†one patron said over a mug of ale at the Forgotten Knight.
“She’s a workaholic, Miss Ellie. I see the light burning in her office at all hours. I don’t think she ever sleeps!†said a foundry worker returning to the Brume.
“Seen people wearing the Dufresne sigil taking folk out of the Brume. Mark my words, they’re all going to the mines.†Not all words were kind.
The rumors of the Dufresne Bellworks were bountiful, if one knew who and where to ask. Considered one of the more active foundries in Ishgard and headed by an upstart of a newly minted noble house, the impressions ranged from favorable to downright disdainful. The fact that the opinions seemed to grow more positive the less wealthier the population got, the paladin was inclined to believe the words of those who had the least to gain. So it was with some expectations that Roen walked into the busy and bustling Dufresne Bellworks Foundry.
"Miss Ellie?" a Hyur man said loudly over the noise of distant yelling and grinding gears. He grinned at the paladin and lifted a single gloved finger. "Generally safest to look up."
Roen’s gaze followed his gesture, and beyond the pipes and metal rafters of the large vaulted roof stood the Elezen noble, prowling the catwalks with one ear to a row of linkpearls. She seemed to be chattering away with one eye on the work below, the white fall of her long skirt brushing up against the railing. Even amidst the smoke and the metal, Eliane Dufresne still looked the perfect part of an elegant noblewoman.
The man that Roen had conversed with tapped one of his own linkpearls, murmuring into it. She watched as Eliane paused and glanced down, the Hyur next to the paladin waving up at her. Long auburn locks brushed over the Elezen’s shoulder as she leaned over the railing, but a moment later she gathered her skirts and jogged down the stairs. The paladin found herself tugging on her sleeves, straightening her tunic in anticipation.
"Ser Deneith!†Eliane greeted her with a bright smile and a bow. “What a pleasant surprise."
Roen cleared her throat as an odd wave of anxiety washed over her. "Lady Dufresne.†The paladin greeted her with a stiff polite bow of her own. “In hindsight, perhaps I should have sent a missive. I did not want to interrupt you if you were busy."
"Not at all, dear.†The Elezen shook her head, her relaxed smile lingering. “'Tis the most surefire way to catch me, to be sure, but I do not mind you dropping in, either. Besides, it keeps me from micromanaging." She gave the midlander a grin as he bowed and departed, then cleared her throat. "But, ah, no, I am not busy at present. What brings you here?"
"It concerns the matter of the Starlight task." Roen straightened, her mood growing stern. “Khadai will not be calling upon you to collect what he asked for."
The noblewoman gave a small pause, her brow creasing with obvious concern. "I do not understand. Has something happened? I wasn't even aware he hadn't yet collected it. I do hate leaving debts unpaid."
"Nothing happened. He is fine." The paladin shrugged it off. "Set in his ways, as always. But... he will not be seeking some inflated compensation. I was the one who pushed him into participation in the first place, after all."
"I see. Well… so long as that will not be a problem." She bowed her head slightly. "I suppose I ought to apologize as well. I'd hoped he would enjoy himself once he got out there, but I likely came on strong and pushy myself. I'd never want to force anyone into anything, regardless of the intent."
"You were nothing of the sort. He is just..." She pressed her lips tightly in thought. "He sees things as if through a different lens. Many times I think it focuses on certain things with painful clarity while completely ignoring the rest. A stern one, he."
"For what it is worth, much as he frustrated me, he did not offend. I can imagine the cultural transition has not been terribly easy." Eliane frowned, idly readjusting a silver chain on her belt. "Very well, then. We'll call the debt square, I suppose. But he's welcome to change his mind until the end of the moon, for what it's worth."
Roen nodded, her gaze drifting to a distant glow from a nearby forge. Her thumb and finger rubbed together in hesitation. "There is one more thing."
"Of course. What might that be?"
The paladin shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I have heard from others that your company employs commoners. What I have heard from them has been fair. It... is an admirable thing." She lightly ran her finger along the side seam of her breeches. Why was she hesitant? "I had recently been given some funds. Some minor source of wealth."
It was never mine. It was his.
“I do not need much to live on,†the paladin continued. "I was wondering if someone like you can help me see that the funds be used for something else. Something that can help others." Her last words were quiet, just barely audible over the noise of the foundry. She remembered when such words came from the heart, fueled with conviction. But now there was only trepidation, reluctance to shed the security of her indifference. I am only doing what he would have wanted.
Eliane blinked, but a warm smile was quick to replace her initial surprise. She canted her head to the side with curiosity. "I see. What did you have in mind? Are you seeking to donate it? Invest it? Start a business of your own?"
Roen’s eyes widened and she shook her head quickly. "N-Nay. Running a business or some such... is beyond my ken. Besides, my calling has always been on the battlefront, of one sort or another. But... perhaps it can be used to invest in something. To help others in taking the next step." More words that are not mine. She sighed and ran her fingers through her forelocks, tucking them away again. "I do not even know what is possible.†The paladin peered up at the Elezen imploringly. “But managing wealth is not something I am seeking to do." She gave her a helpless shrug.
The noblewoman gave a small chuckle to that. "I see. Well, there are two easy paths you could take, depending on whether you want a long-term result, or something more instant. If you wished to donate it directly there are certain individuals who can see to it that it will immediately purchase food and firewood for those of the Brume, perhaps even medicine, depending upon the amount. That way you could make a difference in someone's life as immediately as tomorrow. I would just be certain to avoid official routes, such as the church, because I can promise you not a single coin will reach down below."
"Or you could invest it in any number of people or factions,†Eliane continued. “It wouldn't necessarily require you to manage it, but you would likely have to stay in contact with whomever you invest in. In theory, it will keep multiplying should all go well, and any returns you are owed can always be put right back into the organization. Does… that make sense?"
Roen nodded. "Giving medicine and firewood would be one good option, but I was hoping for some way to continue to help. Do these other factions also help the commoners as your Bellworks? Employ them or give them a chance to better their lives?"
The Elezen gave a quiet sigh, a bit of the poise withering from her posture. "If there are, my dear, they are far quieter about it than we are, and… wisely so, given the present state of things, I would imagine. I'm sure they're out there, but they are certainly rare. We could look into it, though, if you do not mind sitting on your money for a few suns. To be honest, I wouldn't mind finding them myself."
Roen furrowed her brow in thought then bobbed her head again. "I can wait." She canted her head, regarding the woman carefully. Other than the fact that she seemed to be dear to Ser Heuloix, the paladin knew very little of this woman. And yet here she was, trusting this noble with the money that Nero had left her. There was something about her, but the paladin could not put her finger on it. "I have kept my head low to the ground where the political affairs of Ishgard is concerned, but… tension seems to be on the rise. I hope all is well with you and yours?"
Eliane was quick to sober with that inquiry. "It's… it could be better, in truth. For my part I'm simply trying to lay low because some of my recent actions have turned some friction on my family. More and more I'm finding my hands tied, and..." She shook her head. "Well, it's not forever, I'm sure."
"Trouble?"
"Politics mostly. The usual Pillars games." The noblewoman gave a bit of a rueful smile. "Which is why I've never been keen on accepting any investors myself. Would that they were all like you, then I wouldn't have to worry about anyone pulling my strings. 'Tis nothing that cannot be solved though, I think, with the right platitudes. That's sadly normal here."
Roen blinked. "I was certain you of all people were not in need. I am not a woman of great affluence, this... small bit of wealth found me by chance. And it is something I do not want. Or deserve." She paused, pursing her lips in thought. "If you were to ever consider accepting an investor... I would consider someone like you ideal to entrust the funds.†Those words sounded foreign to her own ears. It had been sometime since she was willing to admit such a sentiment.
The Elezen blinked rapidly, slowly straightening again. "Charity is not profitable, my dear, especially when I'm trying to do everything on my own. We're not hurting, mind you -- in fact, we just expanded -- but the truth is we only have so much to spare. I can only hire so many people before I cannot afford it. And then I go out, and others, noble and common alike, sneer and say, 'Why aren't you doing more, then?'"
Eliane sighed, smiling at the paladin. "I'd… never considered taking your investment, it's become such a habit to decline them. But, you… you, I know I could trust. If that is what you wish to do, of course. I'm quite through with pressuring people."
Roen straightened as well, clasping her hands in front of her. "I would owe you much gratitude if you would be so willing. It would go far to put my mind at ease regarding money I know naught else to do with."
"Well, I can most certainly assure you your gil will be well taken care of, and used as wisely as possible.†The Elezen exhaled, looking a bit relieved and curious. “What do you want to do with your interest, however? Are you sure you don't want any of it back? I'd like you to at least get something out of this arrangement. It's only fair."
He would have wanted to do something more radical. Something more defining. Her grey eyes met Eliane's and her voice and expression softened. "Someday, I want do something similar, even if it is not possible now, for people… in Ul'dah." Roen dipped her head, a wistful expression passing over her features like a fleeing shadow.
"You're a native Ul'dahn?†Eliane arched both brows. “I don't know that I'd ever asked. As it happens, that's where I just opened my new expansion. Any advice for a clueless Ishgardian? I've… heard some things." When Roen answered her with tense silence, the Elezen shrugged with a wince. "Well, I'll tell you what. I know you do not wish to muddle with finances too much. But at the end of each moon, I'll deposit what is owed you to a location of your choice. If you need the money, you can take it. If not, send it back and I'll add it to your existing investment, and the process can repeat itself. Is that simple enough for now?"
"That is very simple, and fair.†Roen nodded. “Gratitude, Lady Dufresne. And as for Ul'dah, wealth dictates all there. They will resort to any means to keep their power. It is not what is proper or deemed traditional that prevails, but who is more willing and wanting."
"I see.†Eliane’s eyes narrowed. “That is far more aggressive than I am used to, to be sure. But it is good to know the rumors are true. Suppose we'll all have to be on our guard down there, then. Thank you." She canted her head, and her expression lightened. "And… it is my pleasure, truly. I'm simply grateful to have a hand… and one that I know will not put a blade in my back. You have no idea how invaluable that is to me, especially now."
Roen found herself no longer fidgeting, no longer minding her sleeves. "Ser Heuloix seems to hold you in high regard in his eyes. Now I see for myself why." She regarded the woman earnestly. "I will make arrangements with those that are holding the funds. Hopefully, you will hear from them once everything is arranged."
The noble gave a quiet chuckle, now less so a businesswoman and more so almost a young girl. A faint bit of color crept into her cheeks -- though perhaps it was simply the forge light. "Honestly, I could say the same. Ser Heuloix and I have seen much together and I owe him my life and then some. Any friend of his is naturally a friend of mine.â€
Eliane paused and regarded Roen warmly, her voice quieting. “But if you can forgive a nosy woman a bit of eavesdropping, I've overheard you while you were speaking with others at Starlight, and… you are a good woman, Ser Deneith, more than you give yourself credit for. You belong here or wherever your heart desires.†She took half a step closed to the paladin. “I hope we can continue to work together like this -- then perhaps it needn't be such an uphill battle." The noblewoman cleared her throat, as if realizing herself, and smoothed her hands over her skirts. "In that case, should I await further word from you?"
Roen stiffened. There was a familiar stirring within that suddenly sparked a feeling of dread. A good woman. I am… just pretending, am I not? She moistened her lips and regarded Eliane for a moment, before dipping her head. "Indeed," was all she said.
The lady slowly nodded, her business demeanor quick to return. "Very well then, I'll keep an eye out. And if you have any questions or concerns, by all means, do not hesitate to ask."
"I have taken much of your time, Lady Dufresne. Gratitude." The paladin’s voice returned to the stoic rhythm, as she gave the Elezen a bow.
"It was my pleasure, truly.†Eliane returned an elegant bow, her expression regaining some warmth. “Have a pleasant eve then, ser, and may the Fury watch your back."
Roen strode briskly out of the foundry without another word.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 02-16-2016
“He is absolutely adorable!†Astidien squeaked as he lofted the puppy into the air. The grey canine’s small tail wagged furiously as he was lifted, embraced, then spun in the Elezen boy’s arms.
Roen watched as the young boy set the pup gingerly onto the ground, laughing joyously as both he and the animal then tried to run circles around each other. A noble son he may be, but he is still a child, the paladin reminded herself, coming to a seat on a wooden chair set against an oaken desk in the library.
The paladin had brought the pup long to the Theron Manor for her ward’s lessons today. She was reluctant to ask Gibrillont at the Forgotten Knight to keep watch over yet another animal. The Elezen innkeeper did not seem to mind looking after the kitten--a gift from Kage--that was growing more rotund every day. A part of her wondered if leaving it at the inn was a good thing or not, for the feline seemed skilled at catching rodents and charming some patrons for their scrap of food. But when Roen received yet another animal as a gift from Kage, this one a pup with a hat and a cape to boot, she caught the innkeeper rolling his eyes to the ceiling. All she could do was give him a helpless shrug.
“Does he have a name?†Astidien plopped onto to the fur rug laid over the marbled floor, gasping for breaths as the puppy pounced onto his lap.
“I have not named him yet.†Roen shook her head. “You are welcome to choose a name for him if you like.â€
The Elezen boy tilted his head thoughtfully at her. “Why not, Miss Deneith? He is your puppy. A Starlight gift you said.â€
“Aye, from an old friend.†She shrugged. “A good name had not occurred to me, I suppose.â€
Astidien regarded her a moment longer before he turned back to the pup, who was now staring at him imploringly with his front paws planted firmly against the boy’s chest. “I’ll not name you, little one. That is for Miss Deneith. Perhaps she just has not gotten to know you yet.â€
As the boy and the pup began to play again, Roen propped one elbow against the armrest of her chair, her hand coming to cradle her chin. Her gaze drifted from the two at play to the desk that was against the far wall, where his books sat neatly piled. Nowhere in sight were the wooden sword and shield nor any other form of practice weaponry. The paladin let out a small sigh, knowing she herself had not expected to actually tutor the Elezen boy in martial arts this sun, even though that was what she was originally hired for by his adopted father, Constantin Theron. But after a few initial sessions, Roen discovered that the young boy was a gentle pacifist at heart. He did not want to disappoint his father’s wishes of some day aspiring to become a Temple Knight, but in truth he lacked any ambition to learn the art of war. His love was with diplomacy, music, alchemy. A thick tome would be his chosen armament.
Roen pursed her lips to one side, her eyelids half drooping as she imagined discussing another chapter in politics and philosophy, trying not to let her enthusiasm wane.
“She will though, eventually.†Astidien put his nose right up against the puppy’s and murmured quietly. “She’s warming up to us slowly as well.â€
That made the paladin blink. He only gave her a sheepish sidelong glance and a smile which was answered with a stern look. A perceptive child, she observed. She had not mentioned that she also had a cat that she had not given a name to, despite more than one person inquiring after it. Naming them would be calling them her own, creatures that would then be dependent upon her. She was hardly about the inn, did not consider any place her true home now, and would maybe see the cat at the end of the sun if she returned to the Knight at all. She would be a terrible one to entrust a responsibility of another’s well-being. No, eventually finding a home for these animals would be best, and not giving them a name would spare her the attachment.
“I am onto you.†A voice drew both the boy and the paladin’s attention to the entrance to the sunroom, where stood a Hyur girl, one of fourteen winters. Her dark hair was braided to one side, some fringed curls coming loose around her ears. Roen could tell that the hair must have been quickly loosened from whatever fancy arrangement it had been placed in, and had been re-braided hastily, likely by the girl herself. She stood there dressed in tunic and pants, soft leather boots laced up to her knees and her hands bearing a wooden shield and sword. “You are just trying to soften her up so you can talk her out of teaching you swordplay today.â€
“Why should I need to?†The Elezen boy smiled warmly at the girl. “You will do that for me, sister.â€
“You are speaking as if I am not here,†Roen chided them both as she rose from her seat. Leila Theron, the only child to Lord Constantin Theron, gave her the biggest smile possible, one that the paladin knew was her best attempt at winning her over. “I thought you had a dance lesson today?â€
Leila’s bright expression immediately dimmed, twisting into something between an indignant pout and a determined frown. “I’ve no intention of dignifying that farce with my attendance, not when I could be learning a skill of actual use instead. You are the only teacher that is willing to show me how to hold a sword, much less swing one! The dance lessons can wait for when you are not here.†When she came to stand just a few fulms away from the paladin, she set one foot back and brought the wooden shield up in front of her. “I have been practicing what you taught me from the last lesson, and I do not believe I will disappoint..â€
Roen crossed her arms and looked at her with a skeptical arch of a brow. “And I suppose your dance teacher thinks you are unwell again?†When Leila only gave her a toothy grin in return, the paladin sighed. She wondered how teaching his daughter sword play while allowing his son to study poetry would go over with Lord Theron. She walked around the girl, then tapped her foot to slightly wider stance and adjusted the level of her shield and her sword. “For better leverage and balance.â€
The Hyur girl beamed at the first set of instructions for the day, then immediately replaced her eagerness with focus. She demonstrated some basic swings and lunges, and Roen could tell that the girl had been practicing since she last saw her. Her hold was more steady, and she was using her body for more momentum.
“Good!†The paladin gave her a nod of approval and swung her arms toward the door. “You can start practicing on the target dummy outside. I shall be there in a bit.â€
At first she flashed the briefest hint of a playful scowl--Leila had tired of the dummy rather quickly and been perhaps too eager to begin proper sparring--which almost immediately broke into a refreshed grin as she ran off to engage her foe. Roen glanced down at the sound of a small whimper, and noticed the grey pup seated by her foot, his tail wagging for some attention. His round black eyes peered up at her and one foot pawed at her boot. Roen let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping.
“How come you told us we could not even consider a Starlight gift for you?†Astidien clucked his tongue to bring the puppy back to his lap, rewarding him with affectionate scratches on the neck. “You said you did not want such things. And yet someone thought enough of you to send you this delightful creature.â€
“It is from an old friend, a stubborn one at that.†Roen answered dryly, her expression remaining one of disapproval. “I need no gifts.â€
The Elezen boy brought the pup to his chest, his arms wrapping around it. Both him and the canine both turned her head to the paladin almost comically. “No one needs gifts, Miss Deneith. They are a sign of endearment. A reminder that someone is thinking of you. It is not a bad thing.†Then his pensive gaze broke as the puppy began to lick the boy’s nose furiously and he fell back into a fit of giggles.
The paladin stared at the scene for a moment longer. Memories of last year’s Starlight wafted through her thoughts, as she recalled wrapping many gifts, sending each of them with warm remembrance and a small note that said that she had not forgotten them. She had no such sentiments this year, for she had spent a better half of it trying to forget everyone.
As a matter of fact, until she had run into Ser Heuloix and Lady Dufresne in the Forgotten Knight, she had been actively trying to avoid all things Starlight. But it was not to be. The Elezen noblewoman used her charming assertiveness to coax and hire those in the tavern, Khadai and Roen included, for the task of going out into the Brume to handout mugs of warm soup and bread. Roen had acquiesced out of politeness, while she just assumed Khadai would welcome the chance to bring relief to those in need.
The paladin frowned, still unhappy with how she had left things with the Au Ra warrior after their last encounter.
“I cannot imagine the cultural transition has been easy for him.†Eliane’s words suddenly chimed through her thoughts.
Roen let out a long sigh, her shoulders sinking slowly. I suppose I could make amends. That is… if he even took any offense. Who knows with him. She unceremoniously plopped her chin onto her curled hand, blowing away an errant forelock from her eyes. She was not even sure why such thoughts caused the stir of uncertainty within her in the first place. Still… what do I even say now? It was then that a small tap at her boot tip drew her gaze. The grey puppy sat at her feet again, its black eyes peering up at her. Its pink tongue slid back and forth from its mouth with each breath and the paladin could swear the little creature was smiling at her.
The paladin let out a small snort, then gave into (what she imagined in her mind) the relentless stare of the canine, picking it up from its perch by her feet and setting it upon the chair next to her. Its tail drummed on the wooden seat furiously, the pup seemed happy just to be remembered.
Her hand fell onto the pup’s grey furry brows and gave him a quick scratch, to which it happy rolled over onto its belly. Roen gave the soft belly a gentle rub and when she was rewarded with the happy series of pants, a small lift began sneaking onto the corner of her lips.
Hm. Perhaps I have just the thing.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 02-19-2016
The parchment was slid across the table, one gloved finger tapping just above the number written at the bottom of the document.
Roen stared at the inked amount, her lips parting without words. The rest of the tiny, numerous letters on the page was a blur but the sum noted on the bolded line arrested her gaze with disbelief.
“Mister Sebastian Redgrave has left you quite a bit of wealth, Miss Deneith.†Jeulerand Ganathain laced his fingers in front of him on the polished oaken table, calmly looking at the woman who seemed to be stunned speechless. “We were wondering when you would come by to claim the funds. That number is the total net worth of the possessions and intangible properties left in your name.â€
When she blinked and looked up at him with a bewildered expression, the Wildwood continued with a pleasant smile. “It is enough to start a company. Or perhaps if you are in the same enterprise as Mister Redgrave, purchase an airship if you want to delve into the shipping business? Or rent or purchase a warehouse? Or other properties? We here at Ganathain & Templeton Gridanian Arbitration Enterprises can assist in such endeavors as well for we also have business relations with...â€
The arbitrator’s words all blended into a distant murmur within the large room that was his office. The quiet ticking of the chronometer on his desk seemed louder than it should be, and it seemed to overtake the Elezen's monotonous drone, as well as the quiet babble of the nearby stream outside the window. The paladin sat in the middle of the Gridanian office, surrounded by towering bookcases filled with dusty tomes on all sides, wondering how she could hear the seconds tick by over his spoken words. All at once she realized all she was hearing was the percussion within her chest, her own heartbeat. Her eyes would not leave the contract set before her.
Why did you leave all this to me? Roen traced the number absently with a finger, her auburn forelocks falling before her eyes. She had finally traveled to the Shroud, to meet with the arbitrators that Nero had arranged the trust with, to settle financial affairs. She had steeled herself against any more surprises, for the initial parcel and the letter… it had nearly destroyed her with grief. But within moments of meeting with the Elezen, it was clear there were only legal documents for her to peruse over. There were no more last sentiments or items to be bequeathed, he only wanted her signature to settle legal details. For that, the paladin was silently relieved.
But then the final contract was offered her way, and the wealth that Nero had left behind, it was more than she had ever imagined. She had never really considered the wealth and comfort that Nero enjoyed during his life, numerous legitimate front companies along with his illegitimate ones, as well as his estate in the Mist. This money… it was supposed to be used to build the dreadnought. Her finger came to a pause on the parchment. I remember the look in your eyes, hope hidden behind pragmatism. Determination forged with sheer will and obsession. Such an impossible dream it was.
...Did I want to believe you because I loved you?
“So how would you like the funds to be allocated, Miss Deneith?â€
The Elezen’s question drew the paladin out of her reverie, her head jerking back up. “Ah.†She cleared her throat to loosen the constriction there. “I am going to invest the funds into a company--the Bellworks Foundry in Ishgard. If you could arrange for the transfer of the money to this name and address.†Roen slid a small card across the table toward the Wildwood. Jeulerand lofted both brows with mild curiosity, as he plucked the card from the table and studied the print upon it.
“Ishgard,†he drawled. “I suppose with its gates opening, everyone is eager to partake in the opportunities there.†He pocketed the card into his breast pocket. “Very well. I will make the arrangements. I am assuming that this... Eliane Dufresne is aware of the incoming capital?â€
Roen moistened her lips in thought. When she had proposed the agreement with Lady Dufresne, the paladin had no idea just how much wealth would be hers to invest. She thought it would be a nominal contribution, a moderate one at best. This was significantly more sizable than she had led on. The paladin just nodded.
“From our records, it seems that Mister Redgrave had a sizable number of holdings that was liquidated before this trust was established.†Jeulerand grabbed a ledger that was nearby, opening up the thick book in front of him. He retrieved a pair of glasses from his pocket and laid it daintily upon his nose as he began to study one particular page. “He had companies all over Noscea and Thanalan… and some here within the Shroud as well. Surely, if Miss wanted to reinvest in those areas, we can possibly assist you in continuing where he left off?â€
Roen stiffened in her chair, her jaw set. Ul’dah. That is where the funds should go. To improve the lives of those he worked so hard to change. And yet…
“I cannot continue where he left off,†she rasped. “That is not an option for me.â€
I am sorry. I cannot return to Ul’dah. Not… not yet.
The Elezen let out a long exhale, his polite smile dimming just slightly. He closed the ledger and lifted the glasses from its perch upon his nose. “Very well, Miss Deneith. I hope many more opportunities open up to you in Ishgard.†He gingerly set his spectacles back in his pocket. “At least you will no longer have to worry about your livelihood. If anything, Mister Redgrave has made sure that you have enough wealth to be moderately comfortable for the rest of your life.â€
When she bowed her head in sullen silence, Jeulerand placed one hand on top of the other upon the table. “There has been no correspondence from Mister Redgrave, and given the nature of this trust fund… I am presuming our client’s business with us are at an end.†His voice took on a softer tone, perhaps in civility. “In which case, I will extend my condolences. May I be so bold in asking what your relation was to your benefactor?â€
Roen’s fingers closed into a fist upon the contract, and she shook her head without meeting the Wildwood’s eyes.
“Ah. Forgive my meddling," he apologized with an accompanying nod as she dipped the quill and signed the contract. “I will contact your associate at the Bellworks Foundry and make the needed arrangements.â€
I know what you would say. The feathers splayed out lifelessly over dark oak, where the paladin set the quill down on the desk. Her hand remained limp over it, unmoving. That this is not enough.
‘You need only advance a single step.’ A deep gravelly voice, one she did not expect to hear, rolled through her thoughts. Roen blinked.
The chair scraped over the wooden floor loudly in her sudden rise from the table. Roen slid the contract back toward the Elezen before turning for the door. She paused just before the threshold, glancing over the shoulder without meeting the the arbitrator’s eyes. “You will receive a deposit at the end of each moon. I wish to save it… to reinvest elsewhere in the future.â€
“Understood, Miss Deneith.†Jeulerand Ganathain gave her a pleased nod and reached for a stack of documents elsewhere on his desk. “I am certain we can continue our business association as Mister Redgrave has trusted us with in the past--â€
The door closed behind the paladin before the Elezen could finish.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 02-22-2016
"Keep your arms straight,†Khadai said.
The Au Ra placed his gloved hand beneath an Elezen youth’s elbow, leveraging his arm. The teen's hand was visibly shaking from the tautness of the bowstring, but his thin face held an expression of steady determination.
"Release." The Elezen groaned slightly as his fingers snapped away from the string, the distinct twang sending the arrow sailing away from the wall. The target at the end of the rampart remained untouched. Despite this lackluster result, the Xaela warrior nodded sagely. "That was an arm's length closer to your target. With proper practise your strength and aim will improve.â€
A Midlander boy, barely a few years younger than the Elezen teenager, frowned. "An' when are we be usin' swords?"
Khadai raised an eyebrow. "Knowledge of the bow will serve you well in the long run. Try again."
There was a group of five boys--two Elezen and three Hyur--who all groaned aloud but nonetheless picked up a series of recurve bows. They were an unkempt bunch, quivers loosely tied to their waists.
"Practice drawing from the quiver and nocking. Repeat this motion." In one smooth motion, the Au Ra withdrew the mahogany bow mounted on his back and in three smooth motions, drew, nocked, and fired three arrows in quick succession into a crude wooden target mounted at the end of the rampart. He repeated the gesture several times, refraining from firing the arrows in order to demonstrate the motion of properly nocking an arrow.
"Swords are not necessary for hunting; a sword is a weapon designed specifically to combat other individuals, not animals or dragons. If you intend to enter the armed forces, you must learn other skills of value. Doubtless they will invest in teaching swordsmanship."
It was this exchange that Roen watched in silence, standing a few fulms away with her arms crossed. Her initial surprise had given way to curiosity, for the awkward aloofness no longer seemed to plague the Xaela as he continued to give instructions to what seemed to be young denizens from the Brume. She had been looking around the city for Khadai, her belt pouch weighed with an object she had obtained for him earlier. She had hoped to make amends after their last discourse, and share the news of her newest (and first) investment in a business venture. It would serve others, likely the kind of people that the Xaela was teaching now.
"The bow, the hatchet, the spear, and the dagger. I will teach these four, and thus you will be sufficiently equipped to learn realistic combat.†Khadai answered succinctly.
The boys groaned again, one muttering about swords, but despite their protests, they dutifully returned to their practice. They were a clumsy bunch, fumbling the arrows--one boy had a prominent bruise on his face where the top of the bow had recoiled into his face--but amidst their disorganized appearance they stuck their tongues out of their lips and furrowed their brows in concentration.
"Ser, I want to try the target again." The Elezen that had sent the arrow flying off of the battlements ceased his practice.
Khadai stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Show the steps."
The boy entered into a firing stance, the Au Ra stepping around the teen, occasionally tapping the youth's heels with his own. "Closer. You lack stability. Relax your arms, keeping the top parallel with your line of sight." He nodded once more in approval. "Ready an arrow."
The boy reached his right hand around to the quiver hanging against his waist, pulling an iron-tipped arrow. He placed the fletching against the bowstring, leaving the bow itself pointed down.
"Raise."
The boy raised his arms, pointedly keeping his left arm as straight as he could.
"Do not be rigid. The energy from the bowstring will snap back into your limbs. Firm, but not tense. Draw. Eye the target. Release."
With a twang the arrow let loose and pierced the flimsy wooden target with a satisfying thunk. Nowhere near the red circle that had been painted on it… but it hit.
Khadai nodded. "It will become easier as your strength increases."
Roen strode up behind them, the corner of her eyes crinkling slightly as she watched the arrow hit the edge of the target. "Lessons. I had not expected such things from you."
The Au Ra glanced out of the corner of his eye. "You are the last student to arrive, though your lesson is considerably different." It was odd, the way he spoke--while the Au Ra's statements mostly held true to his habit of speaking straightforwardly, the way he addressed her implied an increased understanding of the language. He had been reserved mostly to simple sentences and direct queries, but there was an unprecedented quality of… not quite eloquence, but a greater degree of sophistication in what he appeared to express.
Roen arched a brow. "Am I late?" There was a hint of amusement in her tone. "I was not aware. My apologies."
"Take note. You are to learn the steps needed to fix your disjointed society.†He said nothing more as he turned back around, returning to instructing the boys in their archery.
The lighter mood washed away from the paladin’s countenance. She stared at his back for a moment, before realizing that she was already frowning. She inhaled and composed her expression again, reminding herself why she had sought him out. To tell him she did heed his last counsel and to offer a Starlight gift in thanks. But the first words from him seemed to be another lecture. Her folded arms curled tighter as she watched him.
Khadai was quick to offer praise where he noticed improvement and equally quick to give criticism--none of it scathing or abusive, but matter-of-fact and observing. Aside from the bows and arrows, the boys also wore archery gloves of a standard design that guarded the index and middle finger from the sharp edges of the bowstring. Their clothing was still somewhat tattered but had been mended with loose patches that at least kept the biting wind away from direct contact with their skin.
The paladin canted her head, eyeing the equipment that could not possibly have been the youths’ to begin with. "And where did all these training supplies come from?"
"I provided the weapons and ammunition with my coin. The cloth used to mend their clothing I salvaged." He clapped his gloved hands together once. "That is enough for today. Do not be eager to strain your muscles. Return and rest. Maintain your practice."
One of the boys turned, an eager expression on his face. "You are goin' to be teachin' us swords, yeah? You carry that huge one with you all the time."
Khadai shook his head. "Such a skillset is impractical for now. Improve your proficiency and I will consider it."
The boys groaned again but were just as quick to run off, playfully hitting and teasing each other with their weapons as they went skipping down the cobbled stone streets.
Roen watched the boys depart the ramparts back down to the Brume, renewed energy and spirit lightening their steps. "You... bought them," she murmured and shook her head. "Why are you helping them, of all people?"
"Because none are willing. That includes you." Those intense green eyes seem to want to bore straight through her. "This is not my problem to fix. I am certain my own people would disapprove of my actions. It is a waste of my time and effort, better suited to one who understands these lands and their circumstances. I am but a foreigner. I cannot provide them with all they require." He exhaled, his voice a steady rumble. "But they have advanced. It is only a single step, but I do not leave them in the same place where they have been found. Add enough steps together and one travels far."
The paladin wrinkled her nose, her forehead creasing with a frown. He was lecturing her again, voicing his disapproval of her inaction. Why did it bother her so? She cared not for derisive comments from many others when she had first come to Ishgard, they were quick to judge and dismiss an outsider. And yet his words, not even spoken with any true disdain still caused her to prickle with unease. "So why are you doing so? Even when your own people would disapprove?"
Khadai glanced off to the distance. His expression and body language were the same, but one might have stretched to call it sheepish. "Perhaps it is pride."
She flicked a glance at the Au Ra. "Pride?"
He did not answer immediately. "What does it say about your people that none are willing to help your own, and yet a foreigner is required to help them advance? I was told that your people are backwards and arrogant. To be careful not to project my expectations of how a society should be for as long as the duration of my assignment persisted."
When Roen just stared at him, he continued. "I believed the person in question to be biased. But I see now that what they told me of the Western continent is not without merit."
A sharp exhale punctuated her growing scowl. "And yet here you are, trying to prove your views and advance the backward and the arrogant." She rolled her eyes. "How charitable of you."
Khadai’s voice dipped slightly. "As I said. Perhaps it is pride. Yet that does not change the fact that some, even one of your peoples is better off because of my pride. Not despite it.†He stood straighter, gazing down. “I said you were a student. This is your lesson. Perhaps you believe these things futile."
Her look upon him had turned into a glare, her arms coiling tighter. She recognized her own ire, it was the same one that made her walk away when they last spoke. She had regretted it then, had she not?
"There are six of them. Three wish to join the military, the 'Knights', in order to slay dragons. One wishes to explore the world. Another wishes to impress a female. The last wishes to hunt to provide for their familial unit." The Au Ra glanced back down the rampart to the poorer streets below. "At the least, they have advanced one step. They are not in the same place they were in the last sun."
Roen exhaled again, trying to focus her thoughts and mood back to the reason she had come to find him.
"Your event of charity.†The Xaela continued evenly. “That is what it should have been dedicated to. Advancing. Teach them skills. Provide them tools to learn, a structure for their role to be determined. Not to provide perfunctory amounts of food that will be but forgotten before the next moon, replaced by the return of hunger." He glanced back at her, and his voice took on a more pensive tone. “Perhaps there was some merit to providing food. I will not deny such. That gesture itself… it is not meaningless. But there should have been more. You possess an obligation to provide more to others. That woman who hired us. She possessed resources, and skills I do not know of. She should have provided more."
Perfunctory… The paladin ignored the weight at her belt, the pouch that hung there with the gift within. "If you want me to say that you have helped them more than that one night of bringing them something warm to drink, I will not deny it. If you want to say you are a better person than I, then I will not deny that either." Her voice was rising. "If you want me say that you hold more hopes for the people you call mine than I do, then I will certainly not deny that!"
This was not why she had sought him out. She did not come to him to give voice to her own bitterness. And yet, his frankness, always seemed to dig up what she thought she buried safely beneath the surface. He was the only one who challenged her so candidly about her detachment. A foreigner, of all people. She did not like it one bit.
"What do you want from me, Khadai?†She blurted out, her thoughts retreating. “Was our agreement not for me to guide you where needed? Nowhere in that contract was I to improve what ails this world."
He glanced at her. "I have not desired anything from you, nor are you currently beholden to the terms of our agreement. Your involvement has been one of your own choice. Whether you take responsibility for that, too, is your choice. I determine nothing for you." He took a breath, as if to pause their volley. “What is it that you wish? Where do you wish to advance? Is there even one thing that you believe is worth taking a step forward for?"
Roen stared at him long and hard. Her lips twitched at his question, and she had no ready answers for him. "I..." she began, then paused. Her shoulders slumped slightly as she leaned against the stone fortifications. "I used to know. So... so clearly. Now... I look back at those things I used to hold so dear... and wonder if it was even possible. Or maybe they were lifted so high that it was just a fantasy." Her grey eyes stared absently at the target at the end of the rampart. "An impossible of a goal."
"All mountains appear impossible while you stare from the base." Khadai said quietly. "They can be scaled nonetheless."
When the paladin fell silent, the Xaela came to stand next to her. "There were some who claimed that defeating the black ones on our own was impossible. My people's first exposure to the Western continent was to seek a solution to their excursion. An answer was found, and we have adopted the appropriate tactics. It will take time, but the area we reside in, our hunting grounds, and the neighbours we engage in trade with will be free from their influence. With time."
He glanced away again, off to the distance. Even on the lowest level of Ishgard, the view of the battlements was a formidable vista of the cliffs of Coerthas and the bridges that connected the levels of the city. "Eventually, I will return home. I will consult with the Aljai and the Tsenkhai as to the happenings of my korum. If the black ones are not defeated by then, I will contribute as Khadai, as I had before I left. The Erdegai seek to improve their craft. To make their weapons but a bit sharper, their tools but a bit lighter. Their furs and leathers more resilient and comfortable. The Yerenai seek to care for the sick, to raise our offspring with greater care than before, to eradicate ailments that appear. The Jungsai ever seek the thrill of the hunt. To provide more food for more people, and to do so with greater speed...and to collect greater trophies attesting to their skill. All have a goal. Something to seek."
She peered up at him as he looked away. He looked austere as ever, but there was a hint of longing that rose in his face when he spoke of home. "We will continue to scale the mountain here,†she brooded. “For many more years to come. Perhaps... forever.†She bowed her head again.
"Whether you believe it to take one sun or one thousand suns is irrelevant." His eyes turned back toward her. "What matters is that one step is taken forward, at the least. That you not remain in the same place you were before. That you do not let others remain in the same place they were before."
The paladin shook her head slightly, her auburn forelocks swaying in the wind. "To listen to you, it is... easy to believe." She sighed. "The idea of changing this world for the better is not foreign to me, Khadai. Do not mistake my indifference, for ignorance." Her admission was a muted thing.
"And..." she said as she pushed off from the stone guard. "I argue... against your pride. Not necessarily your ideals." She looked away. "One single step. Those are not impossible, I know."
Khadai stared at her for a time before speaking. "Your problems are not my problems to fix, regardless. Perhaps I should not have made the effort." He turned slightly, glancing at the target in the distance. "I will continue instructing the children until their skills are sufficient. After that, what they wish to do will be up to them and your society."
Roen too followed his gaze. One hand fell near her belt pouch, brushing up against the round contour there. “If you asked me on that first sun when we met, if you should try and help with this world's problems... I would have told you not to bother. But now..." she murmured. "I am not so sure my answer would be the same."
"That is not for me to decide." He said flatly, glancing back over his shoulder toward her. "Condemn my pride as you wish. Perhaps it is justified. I will decide at a later time if fixing your problems is worth devoting my effort to. It is already inefficient and...needless of me, but if I believe it to be futile, I will cease. That is all. Perhaps your indifference is the correct choice of action."
Roen narrowed her eyes at him. "My problem? Not my people's problem." She canted her head, surprise clear in her voice. "Why are you trying to help me?"
The Au Ra glanced away, off towards the edge of the rampart. "I am not currently engaged in any other activity."
The paladin stared at him dubiously, at a lost for words. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms again, her belt pouch all but forgotten. "Well, I do not need fixing. And if I wanted to change how things were... it certainly would not be because of your pride." She looked away again, knowing that her words were not entirely true. It was her own pride talking.
"As you say."
As silence fell between them, Roen glowered. Once again, all her words came out wrong. Things were not so stiff between them when they had talked while trapped by a storm. But since Starlight, she had been on the edge. She let out a sigh, at least wanting to clear up one misconception. "The Elezen woman, Lady Dufresne. You are wrong about her. She uses her business to hire commoners in the Brume. From what I understand, she tries to hire those that are willing to work and need the work to feed themselves. An unpopular decision amongst the society she needs to socialize with but..." She shrugged. “It is her way."
“As you say,†Khadai reiterated, this time more quietly. “Perhaps not all of you are hopeless, then." He straightened. "Regardless, I hope you have learned something from this. I will attend to my hunts."
Roen watched him stride the length of the rampart toward the main city gates. She exhaled sharply and kicked an errant pebble off the edge of the parapet as she walked away in the opposite direction.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 09-09-2016
[[This post is following the events of this post.]]
The sun was almost too bright.
Roen raised her hand to shade her eyes from glittering expanse of blue in front of her. Both the ocean and the sand seemed to be soaking in the summer warmth as they all glistened under the midday sun. It was such a contrast from the grey snow-covered fields and mountains of Coerthas, that it almost felt like a dream.
A silhouette of a lone figure entered her view, sprinting directly for the embrace of the sea. A lean Midlander clad only a loose pair of shorts, leaped into the air as he tucked his knees up to his chest and hit the water with a bold splash. His entire form disappeared beneath a large foamy wave and did not reemerge for a few moments. Roen blinked as she sat up straight, her eyes squinting at the water.
Then Osric broke through the surface with a loud yelp. “L-L-Llymlaen’s piss, it’s cold!â€
The paladin exhaled with a relaxed curl to her lips. She leaned back, her fingers burrowing beneath the blanket of soft sand, as she glanced to the rest gathered on the beach. It was all familiar faces that roamed about, with the ocean breeze lightly carrying their conversations like a distant babble.
Delial was by the bonfire, roasting some pieces of skewered meat. This gathering was her and Kage’s idea after all, so the Highlander came prepared to feed the guests. Delial seemed relaxed despite the absence of her co-conspirator; her hair was let down loosely with a flower pinned next to her ear. She hummed quietly as she turned the meat this way and that. The wafting scent of roasting aldegoat had already produced a small rumble in Roen’s stomach, so it was no surprise that the two Miqo’tes of the group were already hovering near the Highlander.
Kiht was leaning in and sniffing, her expression one of clear anticipation. The Keeper’s love of meat was no secret, something that she had shared with Roen during one of their first meetings. She was chatting casually with Delial and U’Roh, Gharen’s long time friend. The paladin noted that her Keeper friend was preferring to linger under the shade afforded by the tall palm trees, but even the no-nonsense hunter had dressed for the occasion, with a light camise and a coeurl hide wrapped around her hips. This was as carefree as Roen had ever seen Kiht.
Roen shifted slightly to adjust the lei that rested over her chest. Even as casually dressed as Kiht was, the Keeper still commented that she had expected the paladin to come more clothed. Roen tugged on the red scarf that was tied around her waist, tightening its knot as she recalled the heat that rose to her cheeks.
"It's a bit late for modesty now, Roen. There's no shame in showing off a bit, you know." A sudden memory flitted before her eyes, with that familiar teasing tone and his icy-blue gaze hidden beneath long orange forelocks. "Besides, I'd wager more than half of Ul'dah's noblewomen would kill to have shapely legs like yours."
Nero’s comment had made her blush slightly, and she reflexively crossed her arms over her chest. “Must you do that,†she remembered muttering at him, diverting her eyes from the pirate’s bare chest as he lounged on the beach. She had convinced herself she had grown used to him trying to throw her off guard.
"Can't help myself. Besides, you must have picked something like that in order to catch my attention, no?" He flashed a wink at her from the corner of his eye. "To which I say, mission accomplished."
Roen squinted at the bright glare from the ocean as the beam of sunlight hit it just right, and the memory of her last time on the beach faded from her view. The melancholy it brought brushed over her like a piece of silk floating upon the wind, leaving just a touch of wistfulness before it disappeared. No longer did such memories take hold of her thoughts like a vice.
She returned to watching the three by the fire for a moment longer, before her attention roamed to her brother who was shuffling around the sand with a cane in hand. This beach picnic was to celebrate his return after all, after such a long absence. The past year had been difficult for him as many others, this Roen could not deny, and a beach party was a much needed respite.
The paladin began to play absently with one of the flowers that rested just below her collarbone to chase away her sense of unease. She had not known what to say to Gharen when she saw him in Coerthas after he had regained his memory. He had been badly injured, that much had been made certain, and was convalescing under Delial’s care. Not knowing how to start the conversation then, Roen had set about assessing his physical state and doling out orders on what he should not be doing that would further delay his recovery.
Gharen seemed surprised in her business like attitude, but did not prod her much. Just how was she to tell him then and there, all that had happened since she saw him over a year ago? And the fact that he did not yet even realize what he had done during that time…
Roen was pulled from her reverie when Osric came trotting up, curling his arm around Kanaria who had also quietly taken up a spot near the paladin. Kanaria did not seem to mind her husband’s wet arms wrapping around her very pregnant belly. The former sergeant propped his chin upon his wife’s shoulder, and gave her a soft buss on the cheek. The two seemed happy, Roen observed, and Osric seemed just a little softer around the edges whenever he was in Kanaria’s presence.
"How're you holdin' up?" he asked as he turned his attention to the paladin. His tone was casual, but when their eyes briefly met, Roen recognized the sincerity of his question.
"I am... better than I was,†she answered honestly, before giving the Midlander a look over. "As you are, I imagine?"
He answered her with his usual grin. "We're doin' fine, I think. The latest insanity ain't nearly as insane."
"Do I want to know?" Roen arched a brow.
"No." The Lominsan’s answer was short and succinct.
They both nodded at each other in understanding. "I hope you found a way to eliminate much of the insanities from your life, what with a child on the way." The paladin’s voice softened as she only briefly glanced at Kanaria’s midsection. "I honestly cannot imagine you a father."
Osric looked somewhat stricken. "Oh?"
Roen paused. She was about to comment on his penchant for violence, his recklessness, and his usually brash outlook. But in each of those instances where she had pictured, him, he was always helping someone else too. "Actually, I can." She shook her head. "You were a protective figure to many, from what I remember."
That seemed to please the sergeant as he exchanged a look with his wife. Looking beyond the two, Roen spotted her brother limping in their direction. She had yet to even greet him since arriving at the beach for he was inundated with well wishes from everyone else. And yet when he finally came within ear’s reach, Roen barked out a cool order. "Gharen, you should sit."
Gharen grinned as he leaned against a large outcropping of rocks. "Soon enough. I have been bed ridden long enough te want te get about regardless, if'n it means as a man long in years may."
Osric craned his head toward the Highlander. "I have two sisters. When they tell you t'sit, you sit."
“Technically, I am.†Gharen gave the sergeant a crook of the brow as he shifted his weight to indicate the rock he was leaning against.
"At least your stubbornness is a sign of your recovery,†Roen chided him, but her tone did not hold any true reproach. But she also recognized that it did not hold much warmth. She was already feeling tense around her brother.
It was then that the sound of feet awkwardly shuffling through sand reached her ears and Roen gladly stood and turned around. She knew it to be Khadai, for their entire walk through the beach upon arriving at Costa Del Sol, his unfamiliarity in coping with such a landscape was made plainly obvious. He had a veritable small whirlwind wherever he walked, his slippered feet kicking up sand with every step. He had left the group for a bit after the initial introductions, having misplaced some of the tools he had brought. It was the only way Roen could conceive of suggesting that he come to such a gathering as this, as an opportunity to study the pattern of aether further south of Coerthas. He had come to the beach wearing a light tunic and shorts, but the heavy tool belt that hung around his waist still marked him out of place.
When she noticed that he had not returned for many minutes, she was starting to worry that he had gotten lost. Again. So her mood had already beginning to lighten when she turned, relieved that no man hunt was needed.
But when she gazed up at the Au Ra again, only one thing captured her attention.
“What… is that.†Osric was first to give voice to what everyone was staring at.
Roen, as well as the rest of those gathered, were staring at the roasted dodo that was crowning Khadai’s head. It was an elaborate hat of some sort, with decorative foliage, vegetables, and even a couple of tail feathers, all placed carefully at the base of a hat that featured a glistening, browned, roasted bird.
Khadai seemed nonchalant about it as he climbed onto a rock and sat with crossed legs. “It is a prize won in a physical competition. I am told that it is indicative of one’s mastery.â€
Osric somehow maintained his deadpan tone. “Er… well, that’s technically correct…â€
“You have a cooked bird. On your head.†Roen was still staring.
"I had lost my way.,†Khadai explained. “I was forced to question the natives as to my location and destination. They did not respond to threats and required that I take part in a competitive display. I successfully defeated the enemy in stone-throwing, oyster diving, running, balancing atop a stake of wood, and the accurate destruction of of seed-bearing fruit."
Roen just crossed her arms, her eyes slowly narrowing.
Khadai gestured to his hat. "This adornment is proof of that… I believe. There remained no surviving competitors."
Roen glanced at everyone else first, to gauge their reaction, before she stared back dumbfounded at the Au Ra. "You got lost... and then did all that?"
“It was required in order to ascertain my location." While Khadai was looking at her, his eyes did not quite meet her gaze.
"Roen, where'd you two meet again?" Osric asked that in a tone of voice that rather implied that she'd picked up a stray.
The paladin found herself leaning in slightly toward the Xaela, as if to try and will the right answer out of him. "And what do you mean by no surviving competitors... you left them healthy and breathing after a friendly competition, right?"
"Yes,†the Au Ra warrior answered easily. “I was successful in breaking their competitive spirit and ensuring no further conflict of this nature. Peace is hard-earned." He punctuated his statement with a sage nod.
Roen could see from the corner of her eyes as Osric released his wife and turned away. His shoulders began to shake first, before he broke into laughter.
"You bring honor to your name,†Kiht called out, biting back a smirk. “Well done."
Roen let out a long sigh. Everyone else was finding humor in it, so she tried to convince herself that she should as well. "Well… at least you found your way back. With sustenance no less."
"It is ornamental. I do not believe it is edible. And it would not be of good conduct to falsely display my prowess." There was not one onze of humor in Khadai’s observations.
That made Roen make another befuddled face. "That is not edible?†She stepped toward him and raised herself onto the tips of her toes to study this fashion atrocity. “Why would someone make such a thing?"
Khadai frowned. "It is to display one's physical mastery of various competitions. Were you not paying attention?"
Anything else that Roen might have retorted was bitten off when Kiht also stepped toward the Xaela. She too leaned this way and that to study the bird on the hat. "Clearly, Roen, it is a symbol of victory and power. Like a hunter returning with game, or a chef who has cooked a fine meal." The amusement in her voice was just barely hidden.
Khadai seemed oblivious to it, as he held up his aether compass in the air. His expression turned quizzical and Roen could see the needle still spinning rather unhelpfully. He frowned at it as if it was mocking him. "She is correct. On that subject, I had retrieved these implements for a reason, in any case. Perhaps the fish will be intimidated by my mastery." He nodded confidently to himself. "Approach me should you require me."
As the Au Ra walked away to a distant group of rocks closer to the water, Roen gave Kiht a pointed look. The Keeper only allowed her expression to break into an open smirk when Khadai was out of range. "Gods, where did you find him? Not that I do not like him, but I did not expect to see you make an Au Ra friend in Coerthas."
The paladin pondered on how to answer that for a moment before she gave a hapless shrug. "How we crossed paths is a long story. He has much to learn about this place. But… he is a good man when all is said and done. If not a bit odd and severe."
Kiht followed her gaze down to the coast. "Remember when we were like that? Hells, I thought I was odd until seeing him. Now I feel so... well-adjusted."
Roen dipped her head as a chuckle escaped. "He does remind me of you. Khadai. A little."
“Sorry to interrupt,†U’roh piped up as he trotted up beside them. In his hands were two skewers of roasted aldegoat meat. “Delivery!†He held out one to each of them.
Kiht readily snatched up the offering. "Gratitude! I am now in love with you, bearer of food." The wide grin upon her face was one that Roen was not used to seeing. She was actually teasing him!
Neither was U'roh, as his eyes widened, slight color rising to his cheeks. "Y-you’re quite welcome!" He beamed. "Enjoy!" The Miqo’te skittered off, and it was after he was yalms away that Roen turned back to Kiht. Her Keeper friend was already eagerly tearing into her meat.
“Now look at you,†Roen gave her a sly grin. “Well-adjusted indeed.â€
"I will not deny it. I knew naught outside of the Shroud. But Othard is not even in Eorzea. Khadai has even more to adapt to. But…†The huntress paused in her devouring of the aldegoat, her dark eyes regarding the paladin warmly. “You were kind to me as well. Even after I called you a Hyur female like an idiot…â€
Roen chuckled as she took a bite of her own skewer. “You never sounded like an idiot. Just… new. And honest.†She turned the meat in her hand, allowing some juices to drip down to the sand below. “I think back to those times, now and then. When things were so much simpler.â€
Kiht took another bite of her morsel and closed her eyes as if to savor its taste. “Mmm.†She peeked one eye open. “And look at you now. Eating meat. I am so proud.†She grinned again. “I claim credit.â€
"Quite insistent you were about consumption of meat! I cannot say the wisdom was for naught." The paladin sighed as she picked at the last chunk of aldegoat. "I miss the simpler times. I am hoping to return to such suns." She watched from the corner of her eyes as Kanaria joined U’roh and Delial by the fire; Gharen and Osric had strolled off by themselves closer toward the water to hold a private conversation.
"Nostalgia hitting you hard then?†Kiht gave Roen a side eye. “Well, I am not going anywhere. If you wish, I can act ignorant of everything again."
Roen nearly choked on her meat as she snorted. "Nay! I like you just as you are.†The chuckle that rose was quick to fade, as she kept her gaze on the two men by the sea. “But reconnecting with Gharen and helping Khadai seek out what he needs to find... these should be simple things."
"They should be. They can be. I had to work with Gharen when he was The Wolf, now I talk to him, and he is a honey-head by comparison. As for Khadai, treat him like you did me... without the getting captured twice part."
To that, the Keeper was rewarded with a withering look.
"Apologies.†Kiht blinked. “I am still sharp with my words right now. That was mayhaps a bit too sharp. I jest..."
Roen could not hold the look for long, the corner of her lips lifted soon enough. "I shall try my best. I know I worried you so, then." She turned her attention back toward the waves foaming upon the sand. "Is it odd? I have butterflies in my stomach when I anticipate talking to my own brother now. But when speaking to you, or Delial... or Khadai, I have no such hesitation." She glanced to the distant figure of the Au Ra with his fishing pole. "As severe as he is, he makes a unique confidant. Another thing he has in common with you, in truth."
"Odd to me, mayhaps.†Kiht looked puzzled. “Family is important to keepers, and naught to be afraid of. But... you did not always know Gharen was family, and before you went to Coerthas, you both were at odds." She gave Roen a long look. "I assure you he wants to talk to you though."
"That I do not question.†The paladin shifted uneasily. “But his words, and his tone… he recalls nothing. And perhaps that is why it does not weigh on him even in the slightest." Her expression fell slightly as did her gaze. “But I cannot shed those memories as easily as he has. Perhaps I worry that I do not want to return to him those burdens, but I cannot pretend nothing has happened nor that it no longer matters."
Kiht canted her head slightly and there was a look of empathy upon her face. "Talk about one thing at a time. What weighs on you the most? Mayhaps start there."
Roen stared at her, before she quickly shook her head. "I cannot talk about that."
The Keeper stared at her back with slumped shoulders. She did not bother hiding her disappointment. "Very well, mayhaps start with something light. If it would help, I can stand with you."
"You cannot expect me to just bring up the fact that I killed the man that had caused a rift between us?" Roen hissed quietly. "Or that I grieve him still? Or do I mention that while he was not himself, he killed... I do not know how many? I have no idea how would even start such a conversation." The paladin parted her lips as if to continue, then pressed them shut when she saw Gharen and Osric approach the group again. Khadai had also returned, with a hand full of fish on hand.
Kiht too gave them all a glance, her voice now barely above a whisper. Her expression had turned somber. "You have a fair point. I just... believe in openness. The sooner you rid yourself of old burdens, the sooner things can become more simple. But start light this sun. I hear his memories might return, and if they do, the conversation will happen. You both have guilt you have to resolve, and I do not want to see you run off again, or he become a monster again."
"It has been a difficult year," Delial’s words to Osric floated upon the wind and it made Roen pause. "Anyone would age, given that." The Highlander had not made a single effort to join the paladin, but Roen could guess that the she was keeping an eye on everyone.
Osric raised his skewer in salute. "Grimsong, I owe you an apology for ever doubtin' your womanly charms. This is delicious."
When Roen was reassured that the others paid her and Kiht no mind, she continued. "Do not worry for such a thing. I am done running. I will not disappear again without word."
Kiht’s ears lowered. "I will take your word for it then. But just speak with him on a light matter then." The Keeper glanced from the paladin to the group now gathered near the fire.
"I shall.†Roen nodded. “I promise."
"Gratitude.†The Keeper’s gaze was soft, but there was now a teasing curl to her expression. “I will accept your moving an ilm as a victory."
Roen narrowed her eyes in turn, but also with a twinkle of mirth to her gaze. "An ilm." She held up two fingers, a space of just such between them.
Kiht smirked confidently. "All harrowing journeys start with an ilm."
The paladin snorted, a smile rising to her lips. "Wise words. And since I know you do keep tabs on my whereabouts from time to time, I may be in Dravania in the near future. Not alone. I will be helping Khadai in his quest." She glanced at the Au Ra, now seated by the rocks again, quietly conversing with Osric.
Kiht brightened. "Stop by Tailfeather. Nice place. Depending on when you go, I may be closer than you think." She leaned toward the paladin with a mischievous look. "I promise it is not to watch you this time. I have not done that since you left for Coerthas."
“You gave me the time I needed,†Roen nodded in thanks. “And I shall return the favor by keeping in touch this time. Who knows? Perhaps we will run into each other in Dravania if your own path takes you there." She paused then shook her meatless skewer at the Keeper. "And remember your promise. If you need aid that you would send word. We have yet to fight side by side."
"Gratitude, Roen." Kiht’s expression warmed. "I have not forgotten. I may find trouble just to fulfill that promise."
Roen grinned back. "I will be looking forward to it."
"I think we are being watched," Kiht half turned, eyeing Osric and Khadai.
"More like waited on!" Osric hollered back and slid off his perch on the rock next to the Au Ra.
Roen dipped her head as Kanaria and Osric approached Kiht, and the paladin made her way back to the Xaela. She leaned onto the rock that he was seated on. “I heard you have a new supply of fish.â€
Khadai glanced down at her, the ocean winds tossing his long locks over his eyes. "We will be remaining here for another sun or longer in order to allow the fish to dry. They will make substantially useful provisions." He seemed to be regarding her carefully. "Has this… been helpful for you?"
Not having expected such a direct question, Roen chewed on that for a moment. While she had spoken to him about her brother’s illness, she had not exactly discussed her anxiety in reconnecting with Gharen since his return. It surprised her that he had been astute enough to inquire about her in such a way. She glanced over her shoulder toward the beach where Delial and Gharen had taken a spot on the sands to watch the waves. “It has… in some ways.†She inhaled deep of the salty air, and pushed herself off the rock and looked up at the Au Ra.
She smiled at him. “Walk with me.â€
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 09-09-2016
Roen had led Khadai on a long meandering path away from the rest of the party. The conversation along the walk was about little things, the climate, some mundane facts about the region they were in… mostly small talk. It felt strange to just stroll along the coast, surrounded by vibrantly colored flowers, clear blue skies, and a warm sea breeze that washed over them now and then. Had she ever indulged in such a moment of leisure in the past year? Khadai seemed occupied with observing his surroundings, taking in the details of the new environment. He remained quiet as he listened, his usual long legged stride having slowed to an ambling gait to match hers. Roen finally paused when they reached the top of the bluff, taking a moment to look to the vast horizon. She did stay a good distance from the edge, as to not be able to look directly down. Another sweep of the summery winds tossed her forelocks from her eyes and rustled the ring of flowers that hung from her neck.
"So this warm weather... do you like it?" she asked as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
"It has taken some time to adjust to it. The only thing close to such heat was whenever we ventured south into the lowlands." The Au Ra took a seat on a patch of grass and raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. It had past its zenith in the sky, and was headed westward. "This is a new environment. I have seen nothing like it yet. Although I do not particularly like moving on sand."
"I see you have taken on the habit of kicking it every chance you get," she teased as she took a cautious step forward and took a seat next to him. Thankfully he had sat many fulms away from the edge of the cliff.
"It is difficult to move in." He sounded consternated. "I pray I do not have to engage in combat in such circumstances. The lack of mobility would be problematic for tactical and strategic maneuvers."
Roen shook her head slightly. He was always assessing the situation with practicality in mind, especially when it came to combat scenarios. "I do not think many see this place as a battleground. Most come here for leisure and relaxation."
"There are many animals here,†Khadai observed. “The Jungsai would be hard pressed to outdo one another with such abundance."
The paladin was starting to commit some of his tribal terms to memory. "The Jungsai... are the hunters?"
He grunted. "Not hunters. They are animal caretakers. Sometimes their duties include hunting. The loudest ones will insist that hunting is all that good Jungsai do. But there are also shepherds, and… healers? Healers for animals. They interact with animals most of all."
Roen nodded slowly, her eyes roaming to the buffaloes grazing in the distance. "I overheard what you said to the sergeant earlier. That I brought you here under the guise of 'work'." She glanced up at him. "Would you have come if I had not included some work to be done?"
He did not answer immediately. "This place is… far from our objective. Had you not managed to impress upon me the practicality of this journey, I likely would not have come unless I had no other directives to adhere to at the moment."
"I think they were all surprised that I came as well." She reflected quietly as she looked out to the horizon. "I thought it would do him some good, my brother, for me to be near. And I thought to thank Kiht and Delial for all that they had done. But the thought of just coming here to relax... it felt strange to me as well. Forgive me. I did bring you for company more than anything else."
Khadai glanced at her. "Company?"
Roen pressed her lips thinly, casting a hesitant glance his way. "Aye. To get some work done if all else failed." She frowned. Not only did that come out awkwardly, but it was not even the truth.
"You believed that you would not be capable of accomplishing what you did without my presence?"
She wrinkled her nose. "It was such a mundane thing, I know. But I had not seen them, not like this, for as long as I can remember. Have you ever felt nervous about going into a situation all by yourself?"
"Hm,†the Au Ra pondered. “Nervous… no. Anxiety is a trait that is not present in any individual selected to be Khadai. But there are moments where I have been expected to act on incomplete information."
Roen rolled her eyes. "I know that I was not in any mortal danger. But I did not think I could just show up and enjoy myself." Somehow she sensed that Khadai was not empathizing with her particular predicament, and to try and explain it would be a futile effort. "So you never actually felt anxious? How about afraid?"
"Fear is a natural catalyst,†he answered matter-of-factly. “It is common to feel fear during battle. Fear heightens one's reflexes and attentiveness. Yes, I have experienced fear. But… what you call anxiety, no."
She stared at him for a long moment, trying to wrap her mind around it. "I see."
Khadai seemed to sense her struggle as well. "To… hm. Fret, worry, doubt, is frowned upon. Those selected to be Khadai do not feel these things in any great measure, or they learn to quell such misgivings quickly."
"Then I envy you,†she sighed. “Doubt and worry often plague much of my thoughts."
"The price you pay for such a fluid society, one would imagine."
Roen let out a soft snort as she looked back out to the sea. "That would explain many things. Perhaps that is why I seek your counsel. It is not fraught with misgivings."
He turned to look at her. "Speak, then, and I will offer what I can."
Roen chewed her lip in reluctance. "Kiht asked me what I am now. What I do now." She released a long exhale, trying to expel that familiar sinking feeling in her chest. "Such a question I used to be able to answer so easily before. I could say, 'I am a Sultansworn, sworn to protect the Sultana.' Or 'a free paladin, sworn to protect those who need my assistance.'" She frowned. "I did not know how to answer her today. At least... not right away."
She drew her legs to herself, wrapping her arms around her bare knees. "I knew my purpose. Who I was. Or who I thought I was supposed to be. Then... I lost it." She had confessed something similar to Khadai many moons ago, in a basement lit with torches while a snowstorm raged on outside. Only now, her words were not fraught with emotion and she felt more at ease sharing her thoughts. "I suppose... I am trying to determine who I am now. How do you do that, if you believe you are no longer who you thought you were?"
"A complicated question." The Au Ra’s face twisted into a wry grin. "Would that a Tsenkhai were present to answer it for you. You defined yourself by your purpose. 'Sworn to protect the Sultana'. 'Sworn to protect those who need your assistance.' Your goal was to protect. Is that no longer the case?"
Roen blinked. "It is all I know how to do. And yet… I suppose I have lost my confidence in my instincts.â€
"You believe that you no longer have the capability to protect those you wish to. Thus you believe that it is inappropriate for yourself to identify yourself by that cause."
She merely gave him a sidelong glance, not quite turning to look at him fully. "Perhaps."
Khadai still continued to look out to the horizon, his eyes squinting as if to focus on something too far to see. His hand was casually propped upon his bent knee, and his tone was thoughtful. "Aptitude alone does not define one's purpose. Inclination and motivation is important as well. A warrior who is skilled but unmotivated is less preferable to a warrior who is untrained but desires to improve."
Roen dipped her head, glancing down as she started to absently straighten the tie of her pareo that fell over her lap. "I thought the want was enough. If one tried their best, then no matter what, they can tell themselves at the end that they did all they could do." Her idle fingering of the fabric stopped. "But simply being good with a sword and shield was not enough. Simply being willing to do all that was necessary was not enough. I have seen others, who have been 'protecting' people far longer than I have. I see some of them hardened. Is that what I was lacking?"
"You are overthinking.†He glanced her way. “Does your desire to protect others remain, or does it not?"
Her face twisted into a frown. "It remains. But is often struggling against the fear that I will fail them. And it would leave them worse than before."
"You have failed before, else you would not have these doubts. I repeat the question. Does your desire to protect others remain?"
Roen stiffened, her jaw set. She just nodded.
"Then why is it that you can no longer identify yourself by the same label?†His questioning was insistent, but his tone remained unobtrusive. “As one who wishes to protect?"
"Because after failing so spectacularly, how could I be so brazen enough to take up such a task again? Has your tribe never deemed someone unfit for their job after they have been assigned?"
He pursed his lips. "Mobility is rare, but not unheard of. There are occasions where, for example, Khadai are crippled and can no longer serve in that capacity. Or, there are cases where an individual lacks the interest and motivation, and thus become inefficient. The role no longer fits them."
"Then what happens? How do you assign them a new role?"
He paused, tilting his head somewhat. "The Tsenkhai are called to investigate the individual. Their peers are consulted. The individual themselves are tested to find both their aptitudes and inclination. And then they are presented with a choice." He stared out back into the ocean, his expression distant. "The process is… extensive. Individuals are a precious resource and must be used efficiently. If an individual cannot find their aptitude or their inclination, then the process repeats with additional variables."
"So then your... Tsenkhai are the ones that determine what other options lay before them."
"When an individual is at a loss of purpose, they cannot be relied upon to resolve such a dispute by themselves. Externalities are required in order to spur them onward. The Tsenkhai fill that purpose, yes." He turned his gaze back to her. “There are times where the Tsenkhai have been approached by individuals desiring a reassignment, and are turned away. You would be one of those, I imagine."
When Roen shot him a questioning look, he was still regarding her intently. “'Recall when we sparred at the Falcon's Nest. We fought one another. Do you believe the effort you put forth into that fight then was the effort of one who no longer had the capacity to protect?"
"I am still capable with sword and shield. That is not where I doubt my abilities!"
"You do not doubt your capacity to protect others, yet you doubt whether or not you are capable enough to label yourself as one who protects others?" His expression could be called one of bemusement, though the overall severity that seemed permanently affixed to his face remained. Still, a corner of his lip curled upwards.
"Why is it that it seems so simple and straightforward when it comes out of your mouth?" she mumbled under her breath.
"You do not believe that it is appropriate for you to label yourself a protector. Then do not. Simply acknowledge that I am labelling you as a protector, then. You do not have to believe it. You need only believe that I believe it." He gave a small shrug, as if to say 'it is as simple as that'.
Roen stared at him, her eyes narrowing. Her lips parted as if to formulate some retort, but instead she pressed them into a tight line and stared straight ahead. "I hope I do not prove you wrong then," she finally murmured.
"The day you prove me wrong is the day that you have obtained a new label that is not 'protector', and should that happen, whether I was right or wrong will no longer matter."
Roen blinked, her expression sobering slightly. She continued to stare out into the ocean, as the sun was almost reaching the end of its westward journey. The sea was starting to glitter red-gold, to reflect the turn of the sky above. The paladin narrowed her eyes when she spotted a trail of clouds that seemed to be following the sun’s path, and the palm trees swayed above with more vigor than before.
For all the sun and the warmth, Costa Del Sol had its fair share of tropical showers, this Roen knew.
The paladin rose to her feet, straightening the silk fabric around her waist. "Perhaps we should go look to your fish to make certain they are drying properly and sheltered from the weather. This place is known for its unpredictable rainfalls."
Khadai squinted as he too studied the sky above. "It is quite difficult to botch curing. They have been affixed to the rack. They will survive." Even though his tone was confident, he rose after her, checking his belt to take account of all of his tools.
Roen regarded the Au Ra thoughtfully. "Maybe while we travel to Dravania... you can provide some instruction on how you do some of the things you do. Curing fish, for example. Or archery, as you taught those children on how to use a bow."
"What do you wish to learn? Though you should be aware that I am barely considered a novice. A few moons of instruction by other castes was enough to prepare me for this journey, so they felt."
The paladin crossed her arms with a skeptical arch of the brow. “I have watched you long enough to know that you are proficient in many things. You seemed more well-rounded in your knowledge than you lead others to believeâ€
Khadai glanced at her. "I am an exception. I was trained to be entirely self-sufficient, should it have been required. Necessity is capable of training one in many things."
"Hmph." She pursed her lips. "Then perhaps your Tsenkhai should have given you a different name than just Khadai." There was a hint of jest in her voice.
"My aptitude in the other fields does not even begin to approach what is required. Khadai fits fine," he returned, the corner of his lip curling slightly.
"You even admitted that you are an exception, as I recognize you to be. And yet you are content to label yourself along with others.†She shrugged. “As you say.†It was growing later than she had imagined, and she wondered if the group below had missed them in their absence.
“We should return,†she murmured as her gaze followed the coastline to the long piers and the huts of Costa Del Sol. “But perhaps with some refreshments from the vendors nearby.†She had not tried all of the colorful drinks and the desserts that Costa Del Sol had to offer, and strangely she was feeling adventurous. A part of her was even more curious on how Khadai would receive such things. There was a smile of anticipation that lifted her lips as she began to make her way down the bluff.
“We can investigate such things,†the Au Ra answered intently as he followed behind. His tone was already hinting that he was starting to critically evaluate those plans.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 09-11-2016
It was as if the clouds were waiting with bated breath for the sun to make its exit. As soon as the last vestige of the warm orange glow sank into the depths of the ocean, the lanky palm trees began to bend to the increasing strength of the winds, its leaves rustling loudly in protest. The darkness came quickly, and rain followed soon after. Khadai went to attend to the fish that were affixed to the rack, just before the storm began in earnest. The rest of the group had left before nightfall, but Roen remained seated by the fire that still flickered, sheltered from the weather by the trees and the crag that arched above.
"Figure's such a lovely place would get marred by horrendous weather."
Roen recognized Gharen’s voice without turning. She had heard his approach, limping gait shuffling over sand along with the light tapping of a cane that searched for solid footing. “No place is safe from the storm, I have learned.†She regarded him briefly. “You should sit.â€
"Mayhaps, but tis jus' wind an' rain." He shrugged, but acquieced none the less, lowering himself slowly to the ground with some difficulty. "Miss Jakkya suggested we be locked in a room. I'm inclined te agree."
Roen snorted softly. "Kiht can be impatient at times. I think a part of her fears that I will disappear again."
"Ye cannae have disappeared fer too terribly long, ye helped them find me,†Gharen reflected quietly.
Goosebumps rose along her arms and it was not from the cold. Roen stared straight ahead into the darkness and said nothing as the howling winds suddenly filled the silence between them. "Has no memory of the time that has passed returned to you?" she finally broke the quiet again, her voice raspy.
"No, th' last I remember t'was th' bridge in th' shroud.†Gharen shook his head, his untrimmed hair falling heavily in front of his eyes. “Pretty sure'n tha' I was attacked. Tis... fuzzy at best."
Roen only afforded him a sidelong glance, taking care to keep her tone and expression neutral. "Has Delial still told you nothing?"
He looked back at her curiously. "Only tha' Nero has been put te grass, an' ye've had somethin' o' a hard time o' it."
The paladin flexed her jaw and averted her gaze at the name, looking back out to the ocean. She was not yet ready to have that conversation yet.
"Though I have th' distinct feelin' they're nae tellin me everythin',†Gharen continued to muse quietly. “Which is gettin tirin' in it's own way... bein' treated as if I may break upon th' slightest provocation."
"You cannot blame them." Roen shrugged. When she turned to look at him, her voice had taken a cooler turn. "Who is to say they are wrong?"
"I recall believin' tha' ye dispised me an dinnae want anythin' te do with me because I dinnae support ye in followin' Nero." He too turned, meeting her gaze dead on. "Given th' way our previous meetin' an' this one are goin', was I right?"
Roen gave him a hard stare. A frown creased her brow despite her best efforts. "Think you so little of me?" The rain pelted the canvas of leaves above and the flames in front of them danced chaotically.
"Dinnae know what te think right now,†Gharen barked back. “Because people feel th' need te nae talk te me about it. Given I don' have any recollection regardin' th' past cycle. Tis a bit o' a gap an' alot o' ground te cover. Only learned th' past couple o' suns ago tha' Ishgard has thrown open th' gates te their city." He shook his head as he looked away. "Somethin' I imagine tis old news an' would garner looks like I was a foreigner or a loon fer nae knowin'."
Breath… the paladin told herself. Why were they rushing into this discussion already? Was this not what she had feared? And yet… she knew the truth would and should come forth eventually. Her brother was almost chomping at the bits to hear it. After one long exhale, the frown that had twisted her visage slowly faded again.
"I understand your impatience,†she murmured. “It is as if you slept a long time. And while you slept, the world continued on." She turned back to the ocean and the waves that were violently crashing against the beach. “Give it time, Gharen. Not all of us are ready or wanting to relive those moons again."
That did not quell his ire. Gharen planted his cane into the sand as he rose again hastily, his hand nearly shaking with the effort. "Don' forget th' part about while I slept, some thrice damned infernal dark side ran about causin' trouble an' gods know what else,†he snapped back.
Roen shot him a narrowed look. "Indeed. That did happen. I would tell you what you want to know, only..." She exhaled sharply through her nose. "I know not the details. Delial, Kiht, and Kage... they were the ones that were following your trail."
Gharen paused, looking at her expectantly. “"An ye were lookin' inte other leads or th' like?"
The paladin’s gaze did not waver, although her entire form stiffened. Her fingers curled slightly upon the sand. "Nay." She shook her head slowly. "I only bid them to find you."
Gharen furrowed his brow, confusion clear in his eyes. "While ye were doin' what?"
Roen set her jaw, steeling herself. "As I tried to forget that the rest of the world existed."
A long pause fell between the siblings again. Her brother seemed frozen in time for a moment as he made no sound or movement. Then he swallowed as her words seemed to sink in, and looked away from her.
"So what yer meanin' te say... is ye were willin' abandon me te darkness,†he rasped. “Is tha' it, Little Wolf?"
Roen felt a chill run down her spine at that name. It was the name his other self had used to call her. The Wolf was what the stranger wearing her brother’s face called himself. And yet he knew all the things that Gharen knew, and used his words against her like daggers that knew where to strike. A part of her always wondered how much of that rage-driven entity was actually a part of her brother’s own personality.
Before she had a chance to answer, Gharen turned away and started to limp toward the beach.
That brought the paladin to her feet, anger closing her hand into a fist. "I sent Kiht after you. I begged Delial to find you. I pleaded for Kage to aid you. But I was in no condition to do anything for you. Do you understand?" she shouted at his back. "You were not the only one fighting your own demons!"
Gharen half turned to look over his shoulder, without meeting her eyes. "No, I don' understand, an' I don' suspect I will right away. Because I'd have moved mountains fer ye if'n t'was required o' me." When he turned toward the water again, the winds were finally beginning to diminish, and the sea was no longer angrily pounding against the sand. His tone quieted with resignation. "But ye are nae me, so I cannae expect ye te do as I would. Too true I suppose, alike but malms apart."
"I cared for you, when this happened to you the first time. Have you forgotten already? All you remember is me siding with a lawless pirate. You think I despised you when it was me begging you not to get involved? So we do not stand on opposite sides?"
Roen flexed her fingers, forcibly calming her tone. “We had not spoken. You disappeared. And… so did I. Only I did so, for a reason.†She exhaled and bowed her head. “I did not know what had happened. And you do not know what I was going through. Do not judge me for my--â€
The paladin paused mid-breath when she heard another approach behind her. When Delial let out a long sigh to announce her presence, Roen pressed her lips shut. This was not why she had come.
Gharen glanced at the Highlander’s arrival, before he slowly strode further out toward the sea. “I need te think,†he muttered.
"One might be surprised how well that tunnel carries.†Delial continued her approach toward the fire. “Why, I could hear you half way up the beach!" She crossed her arms as she came to a stop a few fulms away from the paladin, her eyes flitting between the two siblings. It soon came to linger on the elder who continued to walk away.
"I should not have come." Roen sighed wearily. "This was what I feared every time I envisioned us talking." Her shoulders sank; her exasperation had faded with the storm’s retreat.
Delial's countenance flattened from annoyed to simply placid, almost resigned. She did not look surprised at all to have witnessed the bickering. "It all sounds so familiar, does it not? Circles and circles of words. I did ask him to be patient with you, but I suppose patience and open-mindedness do not go hand in hand."
Roen stared out into the night sky, where the stars were beginning to emerge. "I could have chosen better words. I... understand that he is angry. Frustrated. And hurt." She gave Delial a helpless shrug. "I told him I did not search for him."
“He is angry, just as you say, and eventually he will have to come to terms with it." Delial glanced Gharen's way again, her lips pursed. "It ought be plain you two need each other. Just in what way, I suppose, is the question."
When Roen did not answer, Delial lightened her tone. “Regardless, I am pleased you came. Your friend, is he...?" Her pale gaze searched the shadows behind the paladin, and her tone seemed to suggest that she was half expecting someone tall and dark and in a strange hat to be lost among the rocks.
Roen let out a quiet snort, her mood easing slightly. "Ah, he is attending to his dried fish." She watched a log pop within the flames and followed a single ember as it took flight into the air. "Gratitude, Delial. For all this. Despite my debacle of an attempt, I think… overall it was good for him."
Delial nodded as she lowered her hands to her hips. "That you made an attempt at all is important. I can say little on... on positive familial relations, I suppose, but I expect beneath that stubborn skin of his, Gharen understands it as well." She paused as she regarded the man in the distance. "He does not remember a thing. None of it, the year gone by. It must be extraordinarily difficult."
"I cannot tell him what happened. I was not there." Roen lowered her head with that admission. "Forgive me that I leave it to you and Kiht to share those truths with him. As for my own... I do not know if or when I will be ready."
When Roen looked to Delial, the Highlander wore a warmer expression, although it could have just been the flickering flames.
"Kiht even calls what I did... brave,†the paladin continued, shaking her head. “And I see no bravery, or anything of honor in it. Is it wrong that I cannot let it go? She seems befuddled when I refuse to speak of it."
Delial gave her an appraising look. "I speak from experience when I say... 'tis far, far easier said than done. Whether it was brave, or honorable, I do not know. But you will wear it all your life." Her words slowed with certainty. "Speak of it. Or do not. Everyone has their secrets. That ought be respected, blood or not."
Roen pondered that in silence. It was a gradual feeling, but one that lifted the corner of her lips and lightened the weight upon her chest. Of all people, it was Delial that not only understood, but also accepted her unwillingness to share that painful memory again.
“Gratitude,†Roen said quietly as she watched her brother send a small stone skipping out across the waves into the sea.
"There is something I wished to ask you... though I am not certain if you would know." It was Delial’s turn to break the silence. When Roen gave her an expectant look, the Highlander began to chew one corner of her lip. “You have been working in and around Isghard, yes? Fighting all manner of things, I expect."
“Aye. I have. What is it that you need?"
"Voidsent."
Roen blinked. She turned to the Highlander wide eyed.
"Have you encountered any?" Delial stared right back, a sudden severity settling in her eyes.
The paladin narrowed her eyes in thought. "I have not personally, but I do know that there is an underground fortress that was headed by House Dzemael. It is... said to be infested by the Voidsent. I have never been sent to fortify that area, I worked under the Knight Captain of House Durendaire. But all the knights know of the place."
"Is that so? I see. I suspect the place I seek is one unknown." Delial did not seem entirely satisfied, her shoulders drooping. "Well, I intend to return whenever Gharen is... settled. Do me a favor and keep an ear to the ground for me, would you?"
Roen nodded, when she spotted Gharen returning to the fire. He gave Delial a single nod before turning a stern visage upon the paladin. "I am sure'n ye had yer reasons, an' I may nae like, nor agree with them but above tha' yer family. An tha' takes precedence, tha' does nae change." Anger had faded from his voice.
"I am... relieved to hear you say so,†Roen sighed, a small smile touching her lips.
"Tha' ne'er changed an' was in question." Gharen looked between the two of them, before he began to shuffling off. "I'll head back te my room so tha' ye two can' catch up, or' gossip whichever t'was ye were doin'."
Roen and Delial exchanged looks with each other, both of their expression having softened.
Then from around the bend, the rocky tunnel echoed with one loud yell. “And no more pirate boyfriends!â€
The paladin pressed her lips together, staring off to where her brother had disappeared in disbelief. "Did he just...?"
"Best not to question it, I think.†Delial crossed her arms again.
Roen ran her hand over her forehead into her hair, still staring after Gharen’s footprints. She did not know whether to laugh or frown. “No more pirate boyfriends,†she echoed dumbly.
"Nothing but trouble." Delial smirked.
And for the first time, she did not feel as if all the air in her lungs was being choked out at the mention of him. "Nothing but trouble," she muttered.
After an awkward moment of silence, Roen cleared her throat and looked back to Delial with a lighter expression in place. "Well, I should go. I shall keep an ear to the ground, for certain."
Delial grinned warmly, and this time, the paladin was certain it was not the trick of the fire. "My thanks. I suppose I will be in touch when I return to the area. As pleasant as this has been... always work to be done."
"Indeed, there is work to be done." The paladin looked around again. "As soon as I find Khadai..." she muttered, then paused as she gave the Highlander a pointed look. “You will take good care of Gharen, I trust.â€
Delial’s smile broadened a little more, almost playfully so. "I will try, at least."
Roen arched her brow, unsure of what amused Delial so. Perhaps she did not want to know. Besides, Khadai had been out of her sight for far too long, perhaps he had gotten lost again. Or somehow found himself competing in some troublesome contest. The paladin was determined to discourage him from obtaining yet another bizarre trophy. She quickly spun on her heel and began to make her way toward the huts.
“Stay well!†Roen paused, waving to Delial almost distractedly.
Delial’s strange grin lingered as the woman gently waved her off.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 07-28-2017
The white stone that arched over the entrance looked weather-worn, scoured by the coastal winds of the Rhotano, bleached by the naked sun; each small crevice was filled with grains of salt and sand, and its white hue had faded slightly over the years. But the flowers within the pots on each side of the portal leading into the front lawn bloomed brightly still, as did the stalks of lavender and sunflowers that gently swayed in the garden.
“We took the liberty to send a caretaker to maintain the front yard,†Reese Templeton had informed her. “I thought it would look more welcoming. Why don’t you visit and see for yourself? It is your property after all.â€
Roen looked up to the tall residence that had greeted her years ago much as it did today. This was once Nero’s home, seated upon the highest plot in the Mist, overlooking the beach below. The heat from the sands gave way to a cooler breeze at this elevation, and the echoing calls of the seagulls and the crashing waves were just a distant whisper. Soft lavender petals caressed her palm as she slowly made her way to the door, her hand lightly brushing over the flowers.
The estate had been bequeathed onto her, as well as what remained within. Furniture and other belongings had been boxed and arranged to be shipped for Othard, but when the recipient never arrived at the destination, it was all sent back. And while the Office of Ganathain & Templeton Gridanian Arbitration Enterprises had been considerate enough to peripherally maintain the property that once belonged to Sebastian Redgrave, apparently they felt it was finally time that the new owner took over.
Roen glanced at the large cannon that still stood next to the arched gateway, aimed at the horizon. While never intended to be used, its very presence was something that boldly showcased Nero’s arrogance and fearlessness, perhaps even hinting at his life of piracy. She could never deny that he lacked any flare.
The outside was just as she had remembered it. Has it been almost three years already…? The house always seemed somewhat lonely upon its high perch, although as it looked out onto the seemingly endless ocean, there was a sense of longing with threads of hope woven in.
When she entered the home, there was a thin cloud of dust that veiled everything, and the stale air within felt heavy and unmoving. The large furnitures had been unpacked and placed roughly where they had been before, and a few unopened boxes were left scattered throughout the house. It was as Reese had told her: what were sent back were left within the estate, most boxes left unopened.
The last time Roen had set foot in this place was in search of Nero, after he had left it abandoned. Then, it was only filled with ghosts of regret and unfulfilled dreams. Now, she could imagine from the corner of her eyes, the image of him seated at his desk in his study, busily attending to a stack of contracts and documents. She recalled the many conversations they had as she sat across from him, and a few times, they were even light hearted.
He had even entertained a guest once in this solitary house; Roen recalled a visit from Kiht. The image of the quiet talk that she and the Keeper shared in front of the fireplace rose easily in her mind, and it brought forth a wistful sigh. She had told her friend how important Nero and his mission were to her, even confessing much of her feelings. This place still held many memories of the man that once lived, and all the small moments that also filled her life while she was in his. Roen exhaled, finding small measure of comfort that she no longer felt crippled by such reminiscence.
"And you? Will you...return?" Kasrjin’s last question to her suddenly echoed in her mind.
Well, I guess this would be the first step. Roen inhaled deeply. She set her sword aside and rolled up her sleeves. The first task would be to clean the house, then set to opening the boxes and organizing all the contents within. She was not sure what she would do once all things were cleaned, if she would even make this place her own. But she would figure that out later.
First, she needed to open all the windows and let the fresh air in.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 08-04-2017
The silk shirt was still soft to touch, its white sheen accentuated against the rich crimson embroidery that was woven into the sleeves and the seams. Roen gently lifted it out of the box, her eyes studying the fine details in the tailoring. With a few tugs, the ballooned sleeves regained their airiness, puffing out proudly as if to show off the frame of the man that had once worn them.
Roen had not complemented Nero when he arrived at the Starlight Ball, dressed fancily in this nobleman’s tunic. She was at a lost for words that he had shown up at all. She tucked her joy away quietly, only greeting him with a warning about her brother being present within. His returned quip was quietly confident, only pondering the varied possibilities of the impending encounter, as they entered the Sanctum of the Twelve together. A mass of gloriously dressed patrons danced and twirled within.
That had been nearly three years ago.
Roen held up the shirt in front of her, wondering why this one of all tunics were preserved. Nero had not packed frivolously, but the outfit he wore to the Ball was precisely folded and tucked away with his personal belongings meant for Othard.
Was there a part of him that wanted to remember?
Roen brought the fabric to her face to feel its caress, and inhaled deeply. The memories of the cool damp air of the forest and the scent of the man that wore it returned easily to her memory.
The moon had shone bright that evening.
Roen had never seen it as clear as she did that night, pale and alone in a night sky littered with countless stars. She wondered if it was the hushed calm of the Shroud that allowed the night to unveil itself with such honesty.
The footsteps of the pirate and the paladin were quiet over the mossy ground that spanned the forest around the Sanctum of the Twelve. Roen did not know for how long they had strolled amongst the woods after leaving the Starlight Ball; their pace was unhurried, their course meandering. Nero had been quiet for most of the way, although Roen herself was lost in thought. Much had happened during the Ball, from Gharen asking about the Yoyorano family, to Mister Bellveil revealing to Gideon that she had a secret she was desperately trying to hide. Then there was the run-in with Taeros and Coatleque, and the tense exchange of words between them. Her thoughts were so far away that by the time the two found themselves in a small clearing, she nor the pirate knew how they had gotten there.
She thought it was part luck and part coincidence that they came upon the secluded grove--a cleared, oval copse shrouded by trees. There was a break in the canopy that allowed the stars and moonlight to illuminate the space, and the quiet babble of a distant stream filled the air along with soft singing of crickets. It was a charming respite, a welcomed escape from the shadows that lingered everywhere else.
Roen eyed the smuggler who shuffled ahead of her awkwardly, his hand brushing through those jet black locks streaked with orange. She marveled at how the silver light that filtered down from above seemed to calm even those blazing highlights… and maybe even sooth his usually guarded disposition. He turned his head left then right, placing his hands on his hips. He fidgeted, and seemed unable to decide between coughing or sighing.
“I never did like walking around in the Shroud, you know.†Nero’s confession came out more like a groan. “Everything looks the same. How do Gridanians put up with it? Perhaps they bring lengths of rope with them to backtrack.â€
Roen took comfort in the shimmering radiance from above, a smile rising to her lips. “I used to get lost here often.†She shrugged, stepping carefully over a root on her tip toes, careful not to let the heels of her shoes sink in between the vines. “But sometimes...I did not mind it so much.â€
The pirate smirked and cocked an eye at her. “Ever the woodland sprite, hm? It’s a shame you don’t do well on ships.†He threw a glance at his surroundings. “I don’t suppose you know where this is, do you?â€
Her smile widened into a grin as she walked past him into the grove, slipping out of her shoes as her baretoes tested the soft moss covered ground. She spun once on the balls of her feet, letting her dress billow around her legs. “Does it matter? It is beautiful, is it not?†She opened her arms wide. “It makes you forget, just for little while, the rest of the world.†There was a part of her that desperately needed to not think of other things.
Nero curled something oddly akin to an amused frown. “Perhaps not right this moment, but I would rather not be buried by sylphs, thank you very much.†He exhaled. “I suppose we have been walking for some time, anyway.â€
The paladin ambled around the periphery of the grove, but glanced back at the smuggler when she heard him grunt, trying to take a seat on the grass. He was struggling with the restrictions of the outfit he had chosen for the Starlight Ball.
“Oh, sod it.†The pirate hastily undid the buckles holding the breastplate to the silk white shirt he had worn, and the thin plate of metal thudded softly on the forest floor. Following that was the tight laces on the shirt itself; half of its length was undone, somewhat exposing his chest. Nero let out a long satisfied exhale and stretched, having been released from the confines of his fanciful ensemble.
“I do not know if you are aware,†the smuggler explained as he caught her watching him. He smirked back when their eyes met, and Roen quickly glanced elsewhere. “But formal wear is very uncomfortable.†He gave the breastplate an accusatory look. “Or perhaps they just fitted me wrong. Silly design, really. They make the sleeves and everything else loose, only to tighten it up with all those laces and cuffs. I was rather stifled in that ball, wearing this getup.â€
Roen was doing her very best to press her lips together, to try and lessen her outward expression of amusement. “Despite all your complaints, you did look rather dashing.†She looked down at her own dress, the red and white silks billowing with a gentle forest breeze. Wearing such an ornate ensemble was a rare treat for her, one that she secretly savored.
“My dear, are you suggesting that there are times where I do not look dashing? I am offended. Wounded. Besmirched, even.†By the time Roen turned back to him, he was stretching his arms outwards, twisting his torso this way and that. “This is much more comfortable, in any case.â€
"It has been awhile since I wore such things," she said wistfully as she lightly tugged on the fall of her skirt to let it sway. When she peered back up at him, her grey eyes twinkled a little. "And...you do smirk a bit much."
He looked at her in an expression of mock horror. "But this is a Lazarov trademark!" he protested. "Passed down our family line for generations!" He straightened his posture and gave a low bow, crossing his left arm across his chest and offering his right arm towards the paladin. "I daresay I must challenge you to a duel for my family's honour. Seeing as how none are watching." His eyes danced mischievously. "Though bear in mind that it's been some time since I've had to dance. Years, even. I sensed that you wished for the opportunity while we were at the ball, but I could not humiliate myself in such a fashion. Not in public, anyway."
Roen did not answer immediately, instead she spun from him and took a few more steps into the grove. She tossed aside her shoes, preferring the bare feet to lightly press upon the moist grass. When she turned back to the pirate, it was with a quick spin, to send her dress flaring outwards. She had a beaming smile. "Challenge of a duel. I accept."
She approached him and placed her hand upon his, their palms lightly touching. "I did want to dance. But I would not have you do something you did not want to." She canted her head. "You had begrudgingly agreed to coming to the Ball after all."
"I would like it to go on record that it is only because going in public carries a distinct danger. Let it never be said that I do nothing for you, hm?" His teasing grin was only a small warning to him gasping her offered hand and sweeping her body close to his. "Is a waltz acceptable? I am afraid those are the only steps I have memorised."
Roen almost let out a small laughter of surprise, but she stepped into his hold nimbly. She nodded, her expression warm, perhaps her cheeks even more so. "I did not know you knew the waltz."
Nero began to move, placing his right arm around the small of her back and firmly grasping her left hand. His steps were unsteady but practised. His steps were calm and slow, not very much like the energy that the style usually demanded, and he gently turned with her as they moved through the grove.
"It was for a Gridanian soiree. A business partner insisted I make an attendance, and he was not one you said no to." His mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Have you any idea how difficult it is to find dance instructors in Limsa Lominsa on such short notice? Perhaps it is lucky I did not learn to dance like a courtesan."
"Mm." Her steps matched his with ease , her dress whispering quietly over the soft grass. "Did you sweep someone else off their feet?"
"Sadly, no. I am not entirely sure what happened, but spirits were served and the last thing I remember is being told to put the confectionary tray down and leave the premises." A small chuckle accompanied the memory. "The rest, as they say, is history." His movements were becoming more fluid as he seemingly gained more confidence. "Coincidentally, it is there that I gained my distaste of doublets as well."
There was only the quiet rustling of the leaves, the whispering babble of a stream, and a choir of crickets, but they all sounded like music to her ears as the two of them glided in small circles through the clear copse. She wondered if he could see how warm her cheeks felt. She was silently grateful for the cool forest air. "I am glad that you did not choose to repeat that particular performance, this eve."
"And risk embarrassing you, my dear? Not a chance." He stopped abruptly in his movement and, still grasping her arm and the small of her back, bent low. He paused as he held her easily, almost parallel with the ground. His icy-blue eyes held a twinkle of amusement. "Moonlight suits you. I was not aware."
Roen let out an unexpected gasp of laughter at the dip, then she pressed her lips together again as if to quell it. "You are not a bad dancer. Better than you give yourself credit for."
"Do not give me so much credit. This is the only dance I know, and I must say that I find the movements dreadfully boring. It is nothing but spinning." He pulled her up and again held her body close to his. "If there is more to the act, I do not know it."
Her grey eyes darted between his, as if seeing him in a brand new light. As they stood again, she glanced to their joined hand. "It is not just about the steps. It is... it is about the movement of two people as one. Each one can shine in turn and yet the two never part. Then they unite again to move together once more. It is meant to be a delicate art."
Nero grinned. "Care to demonstrate?"
Roen smiled brightly. She pulled back slightly, slipping out of his hold, but their hand remained joined as she stepped across from him into a graceful spin. She stepped towards him again, but to his backside, their tentative hold remaining ever entwined.
Nero did not move much though he continued to hold her hand. "I hope you are not expecting me to improvise. I would rather not inflict any injuries tonight, hm?"
She looked at him over her shoulder. "There are many ways to move, together and yet separate." This time with their hands held high, she spun around him, coming to face him chest to chest. The billow of her dress wrapped around her legs. "Why Mister Lazarov, you dare lose to me in this duel?"
"Admittedly, this is one thing I would not necessarily mind losing in. Though I will endeavour to provide a challenge." He took hold of her and their rotary began again. In the middle of one rotation, he released his right hand from the small of her back, allowing her to extend.
"Do take care that I am improvising now, and I take no responsibility," he said, grinning. "This is not my forte, you realise."
Roen spun once, her free hand extending behind her, before she stepped back towards him. "And if you lose this duel, what do I gain with my victory?"
"A cookie in an amusing shape is all I can promise," he returned. "Though, be aware that I may play dirty. Like this." He began taking her in circles again, but just as abruptly as he started, he planted a foot behind her heel, tripping her, and back she went. He of course followed suit, though he nimbly took care to spin as they both fell, placing his body beneath hers as they tumbled onto the soft grass.
Roen let out a surprised yelp, followed by a laugh as she landed on top of him. Nero sounded somewhat breathless, although he still maintained his smirk, as ever. "We can call this a draw, hm?"
Her auburn locks fell loose and around his face. She wrinkled her nose but her lips were still curled in a smile. "You cheat!" She lightly tapped his chest with a fist.
"Pirate, remember?" The statement was punctuated with a light and sudden kiss to the side of her face. "You would do well to remember that." His breathing steadied as he lay in the grass, his loose shirt not offering much resistance to the soothing sensation of the cool grass. He stared up at the brilliant moon and the stars above. "Starlight Ball. An apt name for it, I suppose."
What mischief she held for him quickly faded with that kiss. Her cheeks felt warm again, even though she had felt his lips before. She sighed softly and slid onto the grass next to him. "This...is nice," she said softly.
"Daegsatz would have never believed it," she murmured after a pause. "That you would dance with me under the starlight." There was a quiet inhale as she fought off any melancholy that threatened to descend. She pursed her lips stubbornly. "He actually dared me to teach you."
Nero let out a soft snort. "I suppose he's busy writing me an invoice for all of the gil I owe him now. Well, let it never be said that I am not full of surprises." He turned his head slightly, looking at her. "Though, keep this to yourself, hm? My reputation would be ruined otherwise."
She turned to lay on her side, her head propped against her hand. "It is good to see you smile," she admitted quietly as she regarded him. "I daresay you do not do it often enough. It suits you."
"If I smiled too often, then they would cease to become special.†He spun his body to face her briefly before reaching an arm over her and rather forcefully rolling her atop him, tucking her head in towards his neck. She had caught for an instant that his expression had grown somber, just as he hid his face from hers with the gesture. "And I can't have that now, can I?"
Roen yelped again, but remained where she laid, crossing her arms and resting her chin against his collarbone. Her breath was soft against his neck. "You do not give yourself enough credit. You hold much in reserve." She turned her head slightly, her nose lightly brushing against his cheek. "I believe I know you, a little." There was a smile behind those words.
Nero fell to silence, merely staring up at the canopy of light that was the night sky. His left arm had reached around her and his thumb idly stroked her cheek, half in affection and half in contemplation. Then suddenly he pulled her up closer towards him and kissed her lips, almost forcefully so. He held her head to his for a long time before releasing her, his breath finally escaping him, drifting warmly past her lips and cheek.
"This was....an invitation to forget our troubles, no?" He kissed her again. "Then let us forget our troubles."
The shirt still held his scent.
Roen laid on the bed, one arm covering her eyes. She felt the single streak of moisture that had left its trail upon her cheek. Two years, and it still hurt. It no longer paralyzed her as it used to, but such thoughts of him still rekindled that deep ache within her chest.
She remained on that bed for awhile longer, as the ocean winds rolled in, and the distant cry of seagulls filled the air.
RE: Absolution [Journal] - Roen - 08-09-2017
Roen stared at the parchments that were laid out in front of her. They were plucked from the pile of documents that were found in the boxes that she had unpacked, and while there were numerous contracts and proof of holdings to sift through, four pieces of paper did not quite seem to belong with the rest. She had read them over and again, and still their significance confounded her.
First was a letter that was presumably addressed to Sebastian Redgrave.
S.R.
Arnor Mills - Flames corporal, taken by Amal’jaa and tempered. Presumed deceased.
“Adala†- Courtesan. Sold to a Hingan and left for Othard more than twenty years ago.
Fiora Horne - Parents deceased. No children. Murdered in Ul’dah about twenty years ago. Falbrand Horne, brother, left for Ala Mhigo one year ago.
Vail Lazarov - Pirate. Vanished at sea ten years ago.
Good business.
M.
Accompanying the letter was an old and worn out parchment receipt, indicating the “sale of debt†of an indentured servant known by the name “Adalaâ€. The surname was too smudged and worn out to read.
Along with the receipt, there was another sheet that contained what seems to be a crude family tree drawn on it. Arnor Mills and Adala were connected, having a child named “Adairâ€. A dotted line linked “Adair†to “Fiora Horne†and then to “Vail Lazarovâ€.
Then the final piece of the puzzle was another letter.
My dear Adair,
I had my brother Falbrand hold onto this. In the event that anything happened to me, he would find you and give this to you. It seemed like only yesterday that you were given unto my care, and while I may not be your true mother, I have and will always love you like my true son.
Your mother Adala loved you dearly as well. It was because she loved you that she gave you to me, gave you to the absolute best chance for a better life that she could find despite her circumstances. I do not know what you may be feeling from knowing this; I can only tell you that Adala was desperate to find you food, shelter, and some semblance of a future. All things that she could not provide.
I have done my best to care for you, and despite my--our circumstances, I have seen you grow to be healthy and strong. I write this now so that you will always know that you were never unwanted, by either of us. We were simply too weak to give you the bright future you deserved.
Please find the hope to live.
Fiora
Roen knew that name, Fiora. It belonged to the woman that raised Nero in Ul’dah. She worked in a brothel, and her story was a sorrowful tragedy--one that Nero did not relish in sharing. But Roen remembered her name.
Adair. Was that his true name given to him by his birth mother? Roen knew that Nero had chosen a Garlean name for himself, because it sounded intimidating. But he fell into a somber silence the one time Roen asked him what his real name was. She had just assumed that he did not know, at least until now.
But if the information she could piece together from these letters and receipts was true… it must have been the reason Nero was looking to flee to Othard.
Roen let out a long sigh and collapsed onto the chair, her eyes still fixated on the scattered papers on the desk. She assumed she would find mementos of Nero’s life as she unpacked his things, and she had cherished various memories that each recognized item brought forth. But she was not expecting this kind of a revelation.
But now that it stared back at her, what would she do?